AN: I lied, y'all.
It was... bright. Really bright. Like, almost eye-searing.
Ford blinked and rubbed at his eyes before realizing that he was in a... waiting room, it looked like. Strange, though, to have a waiting room for only a single person.
A man with wings looked up from the counter, frowned, and walked over to Ford.
"Stanford Pines," he spoke softly. "Far too young, far too young..."
"Wh-what's going on?" Ford asked nervously. "Wh-where am I?"
"Well, where would you like to be?" The man asked. "The afterlife isn't partial to a single religion, you know."
"T-the afterlife?" Ford gulped. "You mean...? Oh gosh, I really did it... I-I-I-"
"Ssh," the man soothed, reaching out to take Ford's hand and help him to his feet. "Take a breath. We'll take this one step at a time."
"I-I didn't mean to do it!" Ford cried, struggling to stand. "I-I just- oh gosh, oh gosh- I-I don't want to be dead! I want to go back!"
"I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid that isn't possible," the man shook his head. "That poison you created has already rendered your body useless. It was very impressive, though, for a boy your age. I must say."
Ford let out a choked sob.
"B-but I- Stanley, Bella, Fidds- I-I can't just le-leave them!" He sobbed.
"Ok ok, deep breath," the man repeated. "In," he demonstrated, and Ford copied him, "and out."
Ford let out a slow, shaky breath.
"I know how shocking is it to find out that you really are dead," the man began, "but we'll help you. That is our job after all. ...you really were far too young, Stanford. We get lots of people here. Nearly every single one of them regret their decision."
"M-my brother..." Ford murmured. "A-and my friends- what's gonna ha-happen to them?"
"Well, I assume your brother or perhaps one of your parents will find your body," the man mused. "After that, all there is to do is to sit and watch."
"W-we can watch?" Ford asked.
"Once we get you settled in," the man promised. "Now, what was your religion while you were alive?"
"Uh... oh man..." Ford sniffed. "I-I was brought up Jewish, bu-but I never really believed it..."
"Well, we have several afterlife options for those who didn't believe in one," the man said. "There's reincarnation, any heaven you choose; you could also go back as a ghost, under certain circumstances. Which, I apologize for, I don't believe you meet. We also have a space that's almost just like the real world, except you can do just about whatever you want."
"Um... that last one s-sounds nice..." Ford spoke up.
"Alright," the man smiled encouragingly. "I'll escort you there, and we'll get you signed in."
"Uh- th-thanks," Ford nodded. He began to walk, but was startled when he felt something flutter right behind him. "W-what was that?!"
The man smiled.
"Your wings, Stanford," he explained. "Since you said you didn't believe in a religion, you're an angel according to our rules."
"...oh..." Ford murmured. He fluttered the large white wings, already trying to figure out how they appeared without him realizing.
His hypothesis was he was too distracted with being dead.
Soon they reached what looked like a town. It looked exactly like where he had previously lived.
