“Please never make me go back.” I beg when I step into the car.
“It’s nice to see you, too.” Louis smiles at me.
“Hey.” I kiss him softly. “Please never make me go back.” I ask again and he gives me a worried look. “Drive and I’ll tell you.” When we make it out of the school with few casualties I tell him about my day, about how people I didn’t know existed have talked to me and how I can’t walk five meters without another friend. But mostly I tell him about the little girl at the start of the day; how she made me feel beautiful when she told me so, how her smile lit up the world and how her blonde piggy tails swung lightly at the slightest movement of her head; he could see right through me.
“What else happened, Hannah?” He stares at me while driving because he knows it is the only way I will answer him and he won’t look at the road until I do.
“She called me her idol.” I look down. “She is so young and beautiful, I just; I can’t let anything happen to her.”
“So don’t.” I stare at him. “When we first started I was talking to my little sister and I could see it in her eyes how much she looked up to me and I made a vow there and then to keep her from harm’s way. I guess we each have someone in our life like that.” His concentration returns to the road as he speaks. “Niall is protecting Ella by not telling the press until she comes to England with you about them as is Zayn with Bay. I am trying to protect you as much as I can under the circumstances which is why I checked up on you so much today; I can’t have you hurt.”
“Is it difficult?”
“What?”
“Having people look up to you so much. I’ve never been anyone’s role model; my older sister is mine but I just don’t know how to act.”
“I think,” His eyes squint a bit as he concentrates. “We are just normal people doing what we love so we have fun with it. None of us take it too seriously and we just muck around with each other. Just be yourself.”
“How can I be myself when there are a billion people follow me around; half wanting my autograph and half wanting my blood.” He slams on the breaks and I am thrown forward, stopped by my seatbelt. He wasn’t going too fast and it is a deserted street.
“Hannah, what happened!” he turns his whole body so he is fully facing me.
“Nothing! I just got a few dirty looks and stares.” I fiddle with the hem of my shirt.
“And…” He knows I’m not done.
“I heard some people whispering.” I can’t look at him.
“What did they say?” The full force of his protection is slamming down on me. It feels so good to have someone be concerned for me but the degree of his worry is almost unnatural.
“That I’m a dirty slut looking for money.” It is a whisper but my voice rings clearly throughout the silent car. He hits his hands on the steering wheel and his head slams back into the seat. “Louis, please don’t worry about me. I swear I will call you if it gets too much but please focus on yourself. I don’t want my problems messing up your head.” I face him, taking his hands and forcing him to look at me. “Promise me you won’t worry too much.”
“Hannah…” He protests but I stop him.
“Please.” I sound like I am five years old.
“Okay.” It seems forced but he has agreed which is good enough. I kiss out intertwined hands.
“If,” he continues. “You swear to tell me everything that happens as per our original agreement.” I sigh in exasperation but because it will stop her worrying I agree. “Thank you.” I can see in his eyes the sanity I am costing him at the moment, but it will help mine and it will be fine in the long term. The next day at my locker Hannah runs up to me again, but she is crying this time. “Sweetie, what is wrong?” I crouch down so I can cuddle her. Her arms lock around my neck and I snake mine around her waist. “Shh, it’s alright, Hannah. Don’t worry.” I talk softly to her until she calms down enough to annunciate words. She pulls back so her hands rest gently on my shoulders and I wipe away the tears that sit on her puffy cheeks. “What’s up, baby?” Her words are stuttered and separated by small gasps for air.
