How I Didn't Get The Romantic Movie Ending

The Feeling of Happiness

I was like a zombie on my way back to our apartment. Appropriately so, because I did feel like a part of me had just died. And yet the rest of me had to keep going. Now it was just my apartment. I didn’t know what to do. It felt surreal. I didn’t know what to do because all I wanted to do was to bring her back. But I couldn’t do that. So everything else that I could do seemed pointless.

The days that followed were a blur. I barely slept or ate. I didn’t leave the apartment.There was a time that I trashed the kitchen. I broke every single plate we had. Then when I had calmed down, I cleaned up the mess. But when I got angry again, I broke all the mugs.

I didn’t answer any calls. If it wasn’t Harper, I let the machine get it. Some people at the jobs I interviewed for called me back. But I never contacted them again. My parents called too. After several unanswered calls, they came over to the apartment. They were the first people I talked to in days. I told them what had happened and they took care of me, like they have done for me all my life.

 ***

My dad gave me some advice that helped me get through.

"If you have a tray of a dozen eggs and one egg breaks, it will spill on to the other eggs. But it won't break the other eggs. It's your choice whether you throw away the entire tray just because one egg broke, or you clean the mess and carry on with the eleven other eggs."

After some time, I finally made the decision to move on. I had to. I owed it to myself to get better.

So I went back to Fairview. I would have never moved on if I had stayed in Riverside. The whole place just reminds me of Harper.

When I got back to Fairview, I was offered my old apartment back. I was tempted to take it. But in the back of mind I knew that if I went back there, it wouldn’t be my apartment. It would still be our apartment, because we shared three years of our lives there. I couldn’t start a new life there. I had to find someplace new. And I did. But in the mornings, I’d hit the wall. I adjusted sooner to that place than the one in Riverside because I had to. It hurt hitting the wall first thing in the morning.

Part of getting back on my feet was finding a new job. Somehow, it was easier in Fairview. I was at the fourth job interview I’ve had since I moved back. Unlike the other three, I really wanted to get the job. It was the kind of job I was looking for before I went to Riverside.

“You know, your mom knows my mom…” the interviewer, wearing a stylish black on black ensemble, told me. “And she called up my mom last night…” he continued as he read my resumé.

I immediately understood what my mom had done. “I understand. And I’m sorry. I want you to know that I didn’t put my mom up to it, I didn’t know she was going to—”

He waved his hand, “Don’t worry about it… I know how moms are sometimes. If you knew how many people my wife called for Danny to get into private school..." He trailed off as he put my resumé down on his glass table. "Your mom also told my mom what happened to you…”

“You don’t have to do me any favors because of my mom or what happened to me. I want this job but, if I’m going to get it, I want to get it because I'm qualified.”

He looked taken aback by what I said. I suddenly felt nervous. Why did I say that?

I wanted the job. But what I said was true. I didn’t want to get the job because of anything other than being qualified.

“I like you,” he said with a smirk, “You remind me of myself.”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

I got the job. And I guess I really am a lot like him, because after a few years, I was promoted to his position. That is, after he was promoted as well. He became somewhat of a mentor to me. And like the way my mother tried to put in a good word for me, he would always recommend me for promotions whenever there was an opening.

***

Now, going back to the present. I’m standing in an airport for the nth time in my life. I guess by now it’s obvious why I don’t like airports. But I’m here, waiting for someone to come back. I anxiously wait for her. I haven’t seen her in a long time. And I miss her so much. I miss looking into her big brown eyes.

As my eyes wander around the place, I suddenly see a girl in a red coat. She has long, straight, black hair. Is it her? I can’t be sure until she turns around. But it looks like it’s her. I’m thinking about walking up to her and tapping her on the shoulder. But before I could make up my mind, someone tugs at the sleeve of my brown coat.

“Daddy… is mommy here now?” she asks as she continues to tug at my sleeve.

She’s doing that a lot nowadays. I wonder where she got it from. But I don’t mind. I’m crazy about her, my five-year-old bundle of joy. Her name is Erin. Her mom chose that name.

“We’ll see her in a while, sweetie.” I decided to look at the girl in the red coat one last time. But when I looked, my eyes instantly met hers.

It’s her. I know it’s her. I haven’t forgotten those eyes. Even if I haven’t seen her in twelve years, I know it’s her. I’m not sure if she recognized me as fast as I recognized her. But before she could do anything, and before I could do anything, I turned around.

I held Erin’s hand, “Let’s go meet mommy.”

We walked away.

***

It’s been twelve years. I’ve had three promotions, one girlfriend, one wedding, seven anniversaries, and one beautiful daughter. I"ve learned that you could do all the right things like in the movies, but it wouldn’t be worth it if you didn’t do all those right things to the right girl. 

I didn’t get the happy ending like in the movies. I got the happy ending in real life.