US

US 4

I never believed I was beautiful. Tell me once, twice, 10 times, 16, I won't believe you. I have lived years in this world, being used to the voice in my head telling me, this mean person, and I believed her, she was always right.

No one ever stays for someone scarred, no one dares to look, but everyone seems to stare. You were fascinated with my scars. You stared at me, tried to get through me.

You were everything I wished for, nice, caring & present. Yes, you were always there, whenever I needed someone, whenever I didn't need someone. And I got sick of it, I got sick of you.

I was frustrated! Oh, how frustrating you are. Why are you staying? Why can't you see I'm pushing you away? You're getting too close for comfort. I'm getting used to you always being there when I, years before am not scared of being alone. Now I am, and that's your fault.

Yes, yes. This is all your fault! Your fault why I am afraid of being alone. It's your fault the voice in my head intensifies. It's your fault all of this failed. It's your fault everything didn't work. And it's your fault I pushed you away.

I.... I pushed you away didn't I? I don't deserve you, all I can do is blame and blame, and fuck over everything beautiful that ever attempts to comes into my life, and you're one. I like you. Hell, maybe I did love you at some point. But I'm too scarred, I believe. And you started to see the scars, the closer you get, the clearer they are. I did this to me, and now I did it to you.

Now tell me, am I still worth it? Am I still worth the fucking trouble? I'm afraid not. Because even I gave up on myself.

I wish you all the best in the world, you have the most beautiful soul & maybe you were wrong for sticking with me but thank you for everything. I'll take you with me, even if I pushed you away. I'll take us with me. And I do hope you leave all of this here, leave me, leave us, leave everything here.

You're too precious for baggages anyway.