12:48 - A Thrilling Novel

"Don't you ever know when to just shut the fuck up already?" The sugary sweet smile she had on her face crumbled away like a sandy cookie.

"I'm sorry..." She responded quietly, "Are you okay? Everything doesn't just have to be a fight." Her face straightened up.

I let out a long, dragged sigh, closed my eyes, then exploded, "You're so selfish, I have feelings too! It's ju- You can't keep me unhappy like this! You can't just have me unsatisfied! I've told you so many fucking times! I want out of this, I told you time after time after time! But then once again you bring me to this retarded park acting like everything is sooooo special! Well It's not! I have to move on from this and who I am, but you're just such a major bitch! You won't help anything! Fucking bitch. Jesus Christ. Mother fucking English do you even fucking speak it? How many times do I have to tell you? I hate you!"

Every. Single. Word. I regret the second it escaped out of my mouth. Damn did my heart drop and stomach swell up like a bee sting. Not because I felt bad though, but because I knew she wouldn't let me between her warm legs that night.

I might as well just have stabbed her eyes to release that many tears. I felt bad watching her sob, but it kinda turned me on. It was a process, first the tears, then the whimpers, then lastly the snot flying out of her nostrils. The worst part was she didn't even say anything, we just sat there in that cold grass as the yellow, red sun went down. Each and every second felt like hours until I finally tried breaking the ice.

"Mar-", I was cut off.

"Don't you understand Arry?" She paused, "You're the only last thing I have left. I fucking can't stand that fact, but it's the damn truth and you know it is! We've been together for so long, you're a part of me now! You can't just give up on me like that, that's so selfish and coward of you! It's going to be Junior Year next year, we have 2 more years and then we can finally leave this place. You always said we would stick together, why are you leaving now? Why? I just want one good reason!" She finally shut up.

"Has anyone ever told you that you think like a teenager? I'd suppose you bought a red hunting cap too." I responded with not knowing how much of a dick I sounded, I needed to make it better.

"9 years Arry. 9 years I'm not throwing down the drain because of," She thought for a second, "-Whatever this is."

"Why do you keep saying that? It bothers the hell out of me! We never were together for 9 years!"

"ARE YOU CRAZY?"

"No! I think you're fucking crazy!"

She ferociously grunted out of frustration, "I'm just going to pretend you suffer from your little, 'Memory Loss' stage because it really is fucking annoying. Why does everything have to end like this with you? Why can't you just face what's the real truth for once? All this time I've known you. Why?"

"You don't know me. You don't know what I have to deal with constantly because of me. You act like the only reason I act like this is because of you," My voice started cracking, "Mary I'm sorry", Then the fake tears, "It's not your fault! I can't help myself right now. It's hard for me! Can't you tell I don't like myself? Why can't you just see it? It's not you, it's my stupid fucking fault for every god damn thing that I've put you through and me through and everyone I've ever hurt. I'm not in a good position right now!" Ending it with the heavy breathing and short breaths.

Her eyes popped open like a party popper, there was a long silent pause. Did she buy it? The usual teenage love bull shit she always bought, thanks Hollywood directors. Then she picked it back up, "Why don't you ever talk to me about what's going on baby? I can help you. I can fix you up. Yeah, we've done our fair share of messed up things but everyone does. That doesn't mean I'm not going to be here to help you. That's what your girlfriend is for, you just have to talk to me." I was laughing on the inside, she bought it.