prologue.

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I've never been more afraid in my entire life.

Do you think it's easy to steal a gun?

To stand inside an alleyway?

To point it at your head?

To wrap your fingers around the trigger?

To close your eyes, count to three, and --

"What the hell are you doing?"

It scared the hell out of me. My eyes flashed open and the gun slipped from my fingers. My hand was still positioned at the side of my head, as if my fingers could kill me.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt someone grab my arm, breathing fast, hot breaths on my cheek.

"Hey -- hey, are you okay?"

A mans voice. He sounded more afraid than I was.

I forced my eyes open so I could look into the eyes of whatever man had just caught me mid-suicide. Watch it be like my dad or something.

Wait -- since when are my dad's eyes that dreamily brown?

And since when isn't his hair bright green?

Since when did it get to be light brown?

Why... why wasn't this my father?

"Are you okay?" he repeated.

He was young. He was her age. Very young. Seventeen, maybe.

Wait, did he go to high school with me?

"I - I don't know," I told him, wishing for him to leave his gentle hand on my arm, the feeling of a loving human touch bringing me comfort that I hadn't felt in a long, long time.

His fingers slid down to my fingertips as his hand slipped from her arm.

"What are you doing?" he asked me, worry still etched onto his face.

I stepped back. "Trying to kill myself. What do you think?"

He looked so confused.

"But why?" he said, and immediately cast his eyes downwards, obviously regretting what he'd just said.

She shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pockets and avoided eye contact. "What do you mean?"

"You ever seen Thirteen Reasons Why?"

"...I've heard of it."

"I want that. Except I want Thirteen Reasons To Die."

"Why do you want to know that?"

"I caught you a second away from ending your own life. I don't want you to do anything without legitimate reasons why. Give me Thirteen, and if they're bad enough, I don't see any other option."

"So you'll give me your blessing to pull the trigger?"

"I won't stop you next time. You've got thirteen days. Give me thirteen reasons."

He turned to walk away.

"Hey -- what's your name?"

He smiled, almost shyly. "It's Landon."

"I'm Delilah."

He smirked. "Hey there, Delilah."

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