Tone Deaf

Chapter Five

Author's Note:

Dedicated to heyitsmaggiex for the amazing cover she made me! :)

xoxo,

Q.

Devon:

“Do you have to leave so soon?” Ellie says and the unmasked look of sadness on her face just kills me.

“Yeah, I do.” I say, ruffling up her curly brown hair, trying to ignore the guilt rising in my stomach. This is always the worst part about visiting; the goodbyes. I love Ellie to death and I hate that I can’t spend as much time with her as I normally would.

Plus she has school and our mom is really strict about her not missing any school, so it’s not like I can fly her to LA to see me, which she’s been dying to do for quite some time now. My mom’s happy for my success, but she wants Ellie to live a normal life.

She still lets me help her pay the bills though. At first, she refused, insisting that since I was the kid and she was the parent, and therefore she was supposed to take care of me and not vice versa. But eventually I eased her into the idea. I think Dad helped talk her into it. God only knows how, seeing as he barely ever talks.

“I’ll miss you.” Ellie says, burying her face into my chest. I hug her gently, stroking her hair like I used to do when she was little and upset.

“I’ll miss you, too, kid.” I murmur back, barely able to hear myself.

And with final hugs for each of my parents and a sheepish smile to Ellie, I climb into the car and wave as we pull out of the driveway.

It’s always hard; leaving after a visit.

I mean, I know I’m gonna see them again, but I never know when. I don’t know when I’m gonna have enough free time to be able to come and visit them again. That’s the frustrating part.

And I love Ellie to death.

I always feel so guilty, leaving her here. I mean, I’m supposed to be her big brother. I’m supposed to help her get through high school and all the crazy shit that comes along with it.

I don’t know, I guess sometimes my job gets in the way of my family.

But then again, the job always takes so much out of me; it kinda has to be a priority. And don’t get me wrong; I love my job. It’s the greatest job in the world; I couldn’t ask for anything better.

And I promise I’m not complaining or anything.

But there are certain things I would change, if I could. Time for my family would definitely be one of them.

Privacy would be another.

Last year, I was dating this actress chick for a while and people were constantly in our business. I mean, I wasn’t all that into her, to be honest; there was no real romance between us. But everyone wanted to know everything, and I just hated it. If I’m in a relationship, that’s something personal. I mean, I understand people are curious and I’m okay with that, but when there are photographers swarming literally everywhere, that’s not okay.

Not that I’m really the type of guy to be in a relationship.

I mean…I am. Honestly, I’d love to be in a relationship. I’m not a person that’s good at being alone. I’m used to it, but that doesn’t mean I like it. But with my job, any relationship I’m in automatically becomes common knowledge. And I just…haven’t met anyone I cared enough about to advertise to the world. I don’t believe in dating for the purpose of dating. That just doesn’t work with my career. So there’s the truth.