Say You Won't Let Go - A Tracob Story

Leaving Madrid

Jacob

To Troye: I'm boarding the plane to Atlanta 

From Troye: Jakey thank you so much for coming

To Troye: No problem I only had to move a few things around

Calling Troye...

"Hi Troye," I said as I heard the click of him picking up the phone.

"Oh hi Jakey," I heard Troye breath from the other end of the phone. His voice sounded weak and slightly slurred, like he was tired or a bit drunk or maybe even both.

"Um Tro are you okay?" I asked, "Are you drunk?"

"No, no I'm not."

He said that too quickly.

"Um, Troye, you sound a bit off. Are you sure everything's okay? I'm worried."

"Nothing new. I'm fine." "And not drunk," he added quickly at the end.

I took a deep breath. I was really worried about Troye, but I would wait to push the issue of his increased drinking until I got to Atlanta. "Fine Troye. I will be there soon. I need you to hang on for me ok?" 

"Okay. And like I said. I'm fine. And it really means a lot to me that you are coming."

"I'm sorry that was so quick. I wanted to hear your voice but I need to go now because the pilot has already said to put our phones in airplane mode. I will call you as soon as I land. Get some sleep okay?" I look at my phone. It is 10pm Atlanta time and I know that Troye hadn't gotten any sleep the night before because he was working on a scene that had to be filmed at night. 

"Okay bye Jacob, I love you. Have a safe trip and I will get some sleep don't worry." 

"Love you too sweetie please you need to get your beauty sleep," I said.

"Okay, thanks J," Troye said breathlessly.

"Bye sweetie." I hung up the phone just as the flight attendant began to tell me that I needed to put it away.

I had awoken at two am in order to catch the earliest flight out of Spain after Troye had called me in tears and told me about the how unfair the world was and how people should just love each other for who they are no matter. 

I later learned just how hard this movie had been on Troye. I knew of course that it would be hard for him, considering the actions of his character. But Troye's broken voice on the phone to me last night and his cries and sadness really impacted me. Therefore, I had bought a ticket for the next flight from Madrid to Atlanta and had begun to pack.

I was tired and totally prepared to get my much-needed rest.

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Troye

I slowly brought the phone from my ear as my hand came to rest on the bed. I pulled both of my pale, cold hands to my face and slumped over.

I wanted Jacob to be there, I wanted to cuddle up against his chest and breathe in the scent of his cologne and underlying scent of a forest. I wanted to hold his hand and feel his warm breath. I wanted to feel the slow circles that he would always rub on my back when I was stressed or anxious. And most of all, I wanted him to be there, to know that he was by my side. 

I set my phone alarm to 6:00 am and flipped my light switch into the off position, pulling the covers up over my skinny frame. 

Jacob was right. I had been drinking. I had been drinking a lot lately. I was hung over most mornings and had a constant throbbing headache. But I had denied it, not wanting him to be even more worried that he already was. I already felt really bad that my problems had caused him to leave Madrid early and I didn't want to do anything to furtherly mess up his life or worry him. I had heard it in his voice too. Jacob knew I had been drinking again, which was why he had repeated the question, giving me the choice to admit to it. But, of course, I hadn't said anything, trying to be the person who kept things to himself and tried not to mess up other people's lives.