Katie Mills tagged you and 5 other people in a post
It was a picture of our old group. I remember that moment. August 22, 2011. Katie’s birthday. Her parents were out on a business trip for a week so she decided to host a slumber party that night. On the top right of the photo, near the sofa, was Clara chugging down a bottle of vodka she stole from her dad’s collection. Cole and Adam could be seen playing Uno. Adam’s cards can be seen in the photo and you could conclude Cole was very much fucked in the next three turns. Alex was already asleep, or at least, he was trying to be. Emily was doing karaoke and singing with her, was me. I never noticed Katie took that photo.
“omg, u guuuuuuuys. i miss this. i miss us”
I’m surprised to see Katie still types like that.
Honestly, I’m surprised someone remembers, let alone care. It’s been a long time since any of us had any real interaction with each other. Deep down, we knew this was coming once college arrived. It’s not that it was sad, either. We moved on, met new people, made new friends, made out with new lovers, some probably (definitely) already had sex with them, too. Most of us left town for some university that would, I don’t know, cause some kind of depression and homesickness.
I guess not for Katie. She stayed. No way in hell would she leave town; she loved home too much. Emily, too. I really thought she would consider going to music school. Emily had talent, after all. For reasons unasked, I really don’t know why she stayed. Also Cole. He said someone had to be in charge of their business.
I guess now, looking at the picture Katie tagged us in, I remember a little more about this circle of friendship. Then, there’s the part where I start to miss them. I would like to admit, I wonder if they could be this feeling, too. Especially now. Could they also be looking at the same picture in their own screens? Or was the photo lost among the endless selfies, cat videos and unsolicited political opinions their new friends keep posting on their feeds?
“We should probably set a reunion. I miss you guys.”, I commented, crying emojis included.
To be honest, I’m not expecting an actual reunion to happen. Alex would probably just find another excuse not to come and Cole would probably still say he’s too busy to join us, as he always does. I know, because we’ve tried this before back in 2013. We were freshmen that year. At the time, all of us were still willing to see each other. The only problem was finding the time for everyone. We tried the semester after that, and then the semester after, and then the semester after, until we just decided to stop trying.
I got a text.
“im free today. lets have coffee”
It’s from Stella. I haven’t gone out my dorm for three days. It’s been like this ever since the school holiday. Stella probably knows this. She always invites me to go out with her everytime I lock myself in my dorm room. She knows it doesn’t help me when I isolate myself. I took a shower, got dressed and left my tomb.
“I’ll meet you at Tracie’s”
Stella and I have been dating for almost a year. We both like this weird band that really doesn’t have a name yet. We first met at their gig, and then we met again the gig after that, and the gig after that, and the gig after that. We became official when we decided to refer to the band as ‘bedstains’ after a rumor that the lead singer still wets his bed. After laughing for five minutes, we started making out.
Stella understood me. Perhaps, more than I understood myself. I even tell her stories about my old group circle of friends. In a weird sort of serendipitous way, she knew every cure for my different mental states. Mannerisms and overthinking disappear at the sight of her. She did this without her knowing. With her, the only thing I was ever lost at were her eyes. Sometimes, her smile. But always her. Good Lord, it was always her.
I met Stella at our usual place. Tracie’s. She always wears an-oversized sweaters. She loved Tracie’s signature waffles, which served them with Nutella and yogurt. Which I think doesn’t work. But what the hell. She loves it. I love her.
“I have two tickets for Bedstains” she started digging in
“Holy shit I totally forgot they have another gig?”
“You forget a lot of things.”
“I know. That’s why I’m really glad you asked me out. I haven’t been out the dorm for three days.”, I said, with a tone of relief.
“I figured. We’ve been going out for a year and it’s always the girl who has to ask the guy out. You do know, you’re a guy, right? Or have you forgotten that, too?”, now she’s bantering.
“Gender equality, I guess.”
“It’s not equality if I’m the only one making plans. I’d love to hear your ideas of dates.”, she starts taking another bite.
“Alright. Geez. Sorry. A lot of salt going on today. Fine. Next time. We’ll go on a date. My plans, my treat.”
“Are you implying that women shouldn’t pay for dates? Cause I’m willing to pay. Where’s the equality?”
“It’s not really about equality. I want to treat you. Because I want to do it. Let your boyfriend be the generic kind of boyfriend for once.”
Someone’s calling.
It’s from Cole…
Could he feel the same feeling I had when I saw the picture Katie tagged us in earlier?
I excused myself from Stella.
“Hey Adam. It’s been a while. How’s it goi-“
…
Shit.
I got back to Stella, sat quietly. The first time Cole talked to me in years and this is the first I hear. Holy shit. It can’t be. No. It’s not real.
“Miles? What’s wrong? You look a little bothered.”
“It’s Cole. He called.”, my voice starts to tremble
“One of your high school friends? The guy who ate a full lipstick because you guys had a dare? It was Emily’s, right?
“Emily…”, now my voice was trembling even more. It’s beginning to be physically evident in my jaws. I could feel it in my teeth.
“What about her?”, she asked, worried.
…
“She’s dead.”
