Ruthless

Chapter 20

Jean fell into her bed, completely defeated. After the airport, the flight, and then having to get a cab to drive her from the airport to her trailer, she was completely drained. Every second since she left, she kept on replaying the past few days in her mind. Every lie, subtle and outright, that Colin had told her. Every single time she'd convinced herself it was okay to get close. That maybe even if he was an ass, he was her ass and she was okay with that.

How many other women had told themselves the same thing? Thinking the guy would be different with them. She hadn't even been that stupid with Mark. Sure, he'd been a jerk, but she knew he'd be a jerk to her. She'd just assumed that she could change to tolerate him.

Colin had been...different.

Jean pushed her head into her pillow as the sobs shuddered through her. She hated crying. She'd always prided herself on how she hardly ever would cry, but it seemed as if these tears wouldn't stop. Not any cute little tears creeping out the corner of an eye. Body wrenching, ugly sobs that would leave her sore for a week. By some stroke of luck, there had been an empty row on the plane home, so she'd been able to wallow in her self-pity mostly alone, but now there was no one around. No reason to keep herself together.

So she let herself cry. Every kiss, every smile, every laugh...they all played in a superfast unending loop in her mind, each one more painful than the last.

A pounding on her door made her put an early stop to her own personal pity party. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes. Luckily she'd never had a chance to put any makeup on, so at least she knew there wasn't mascara streaked across her cheeks, but the redness and puffiness were unconcealable at this point.

But she didn't care. So what if whoever was trying to get her attention at this time of night knew she was having a shitty day? It wasn't as if she could be any more embarrassed than she already was.

She couldn't say she was surprised when she opened her door and saw her mother, but at this point, the president himself could be standing in front of her and she wouldn't care.

"I'm not in the mood," she warned Katherine even as she stepped away from the entrance to fall onto the couch and hug a pillow to her middle.

Katherine stepped inside slowly. Hesitantly. Which made Jean immediately aware that she was feeling guilty for something.

"Anything you want to tell me, Mom?" Hell, might at least give the woman one last chance to come clean. She even wore her guilty mother clothes. Katherine seemed to have two types of outfits: Her normal, show as much skin as possible so every eye will be on her outfits. And then there was her guilt-ridden, cover every inch of skin until Jean will think I'm sincere looks.

Katherine wrapped her arms around herself, and Jean had to admit that she felt bad for the woman. This wasn't an easy admission and it wasn't on her terms. Not bad enough to let this go, though. "Why don't you start by telling me about my real father?"

Katherine nodded as she sat next to Jean on the couch. "Walter was...a mistake. I was impressed with his money and he did have a certain charisma. And when you came along, I knew he'd never be a true father."

"So you didn't even try to get child support?" Guilt washed over Katherine's face and Jean suddenly remembered who she was talking to. Katherine always needed money and would get it any way possible. "You did get money from him, didn't you?"

"He gave us some. Not nearly as much as he could've, but he gave me a one-time payment."

"Gave us? Did Grandma ever see any of this?" Jean knew she should be angry. Screaming, pacing, furious. But she just stared at her mother dispassionately. Trying to convince herself that she expected any better from the woman who was supposed to love her unconditionally.