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06:00

COSETTE SINCLAIR

Autumn. What a boring season. What does everyone see in it?

Oh yeah. Color.

I found myself in negative thoughts again, causing me to inhale a supposed-to-be exhaled puff of smoke from my cigarette. I dissolved into a coughing fit, and students around the campus looked at me in worry. The air touched the back of my exposed neck, causing the hair on my arms to stand up from the sudden cold.

The dull colors of the falling leaves looked gray in my eyes. Everything looked gray in my eyes.

Why couldn't I have been given bright reds? Bright yellows? Everything was dull and boring and gray. Only in my eyes.

Having a black and white vision really took a toll on my perception. As much as I tried, I couldn't bring myself to be positive about much. This played into my personality, making me mercilessly unlikeable. A big reason why I have never had a boyfriend. Hoseok, of course, the bright, happy ball of sunshine that I called my best friend, was just like everyone else. He had fully saturated vision. I had to inherit severe Achromatopsia, causing me to see in only black and white. My mother had incomplete (she was colorblind), my father had the gene but no symptoms, and I couldn't see color. Oh, how the world worked against me.

But colors were always monotonous in my eyes. So was the world, and I couldn't help it. Thinking positive in a swirl of gray wasn't an easy feat. How could I, when color was the one thing that I longed to see most and would never ever be able to?

At least my passionate best friend made it a little easier.

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Dull autumn Tuesdays were the only days I liked besides Saturdays. I had creative writing on Tuesday mornings. And with creative writing, I could really immerse myself into the world of my characters and forget about my petty problems for once.

Just like any Tuesday, I got up at 6 sharp. Class didn't start til 8:30, but taking pictures of the trees on my Polaroid when the first rays of white light showed up in the sky was truly therapeutic.

It was rare to see anyone at this time. Of course. What student in their right mind would get up at 6 am? Despite my love for Tuesday mornings, I still felt an overwhelming sense of drowsiness without my coffee. On my way to the quaint shop I always went to, I stopped to snap a picture of the sunrise. Sure, I couldn't fully appreciate it, but there was always a tiny ray of hope that told me that someday, I could.

Little did I know, I was about to lose that picture of the sunrise.

I took the photo, picking the film from the camera.

"Did you know clouds move at approximately 100 miles per hour?" I yelped, dropping my film in a puddle.

"What the fuck? Why would you scare me like that dude?" The boy in front of me half smiled. He was quite handsome, with these dimples that lit up his face. I realized I was supposed to be mad at him.

"Sorry, force of habit. Shoot, I made you drop your film, didn't I?" His half smile fell and he stooped to take the film from the puddle.

"Yeah, you did. Now my morning is ruined," I muttered. I know I sounded rude, but it wasn't like I would ever see this guy again.

I started to walk towards the coffee shop. 

"I'm sorry about the film. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You wish."

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And so he did.

Wednesdays I didn't have classes til the afternoon. Gray sunshine seeped through my window as I woke up, squinting in annoyance. My eyes always burned in the mornings, since life was a bitch and made me have sensitivity to light. Mine thankfully wasn't as bad as most with my condition, but in certain situations made me want to kick the sun in the balls. That's why I only liked evenings and cloudy days. I put on my wire-framed glasses, sighing. Hoseok took me to see his friends on Wednesdays.

Right on time, a whirlwind of unruly man-child struck my room, shouting 'good morning, bitch bucket' even though it was probably 11 am already and turning into afternoon in just an hour. I groaned loudly, hiding my face under my pillow, which was immediately ripped off of me.

"Cosetteeee, Junglebook is meeting us at the granola bar in 10 minutes, so get your ass up and get ready otherwise he'll ditch us for his dumbass freshman friends," said Hobi, jostling me from side to side.

"Wow you white girl, let him ditch. I don't want to get up. Whats the point if we all just die eventually anyway." My best friend paused for a moment, and I thought he might have actually left me alone, but I was sadly mistaken. He instead sat on me, crushing his butt into my back.

"GET OFF FATASS, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BALLS IN." Eventually, I gave in. He got off and let me change. We departed for the granola bar soon after.

Turns out Jungkook had a friend.

A hot junior that just so happened to be the same guy I bumped into yesterday.

Pretty boy stayed sitting, his half smile creeping up on his face. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, much less the guy I was not-so-subtly rude to just the day before.

"What's up losers?" Jungkook chimed, giving Hobi a fistbump and ruffling my hair (while I tried but failed to swat away his hand because he was at least a head taller than me). Jungkook was the epitome of a stereotypical badboy. He fucked everything that breathed and was a major flirt. He had a sleek black motorcycle and a Rolls-Royce Wraith, which originally belonged to his dad, taking up two parking spaces in front of the school. He was a try-hard when it came to being cool, but he was the youngest in our friend group so who could blame him?

Hoseok, on the other hand, was a sarcastic piece of shit with a gallantly bright everything. Smile, personality, hell, even his skin glowed like the voice of an angel.

I had minimal friends in my life, which is to be expected because I was about as expressive and open as a brick wall. Last time I genuinely smiled was when Hobi was trying to take a picture and fell into a pond, right onto a passing duck, and that was about a week ago.

And then there was pretty boy junior, half smiles and dimples and all. So far, just a cute face and someone that I wouldn't have had an ounce of a chance with.

Oh, if only I could've realized how wrong I was.