I'm on my knees begging you now to take this knife you've had at my throat and kill me. My hands around my ears to drown out the sounds, your screams echo in my head. Yet you put your hand around my mouth, you force me to be silent. You tie me down torcher me with your words you threaten to kick me out, you threaten to hit me. What can I say, if I say anything to defend myself you take it has disrespect. What about me you treat me like shit.
I tell you to stop but I do not beg because if I beg that means I call it quits. "I'm nothing but trouble" I know what they must think of me I feel there stinging eyes and mean tone, they don't have to speak I know what they want to say. "Your just like you mom, we hope you never succeed, we should have kept you in the mental hospital, your nothing but a disappointment, why do we even have you!" I'm standing but every word takes it stab I feel the knife go through my stomach a million times. I scream in pain but I stand my ground; the voices get louder.
I fall on my knees my tears erupt from my red itchy eyes, I can barley breath, my lungs gasp for air but all I feel something coming up my throat, I scream and pull at my throat. I cough up black thick blood and razor blades. I pull them out of my mouth I cant breath I feel the dizziness take over. Everything spins around my head the voices, my own, his.
"Learn to suck it up! Why do I even exist! Kill your self! No one loves You! Maybe you should send a text message to your little lovers I'm sure they'll gladly take you maybe you can even show them the little tricks he taught you! You know he doesn't care about you, he only wanted you for one thing and once he got it he left. Why cant you be the perfect child? Why does god hate me?! Why don't I feel happy? Should I go back to cutting? Should I just take all my pills at once? Why don't you cut yourself one more time just give us another reason to send you away!"
I finally catch my breath but its barely enough to keep me alive. I'm too weak to fight back the words surround me. I cant do this anymore! I cant survive here please someone here me, anyone, please take me away! My heart beat slows I can barley keep my head up. The black blood oozes from my mouth I choke.
I choke on my own blood, I scream in pain as I look down I see 3 deep cuts slowly appearing on both my wrists. The blood pours, I cough up another blade. I cant handle the emotion that I feel I beg god to forgive me for my sins because in the end I'm going to die and why would I escape one hell just to go to another.
I feel the words burn into my skin I scream, I smell burning flesh. "You stupid little bitch! No one cares! Do you remember what I taught you! Slut! You're my dirty little whore! Why am I not like other girls! Fat! Ugly! You're only good for one thing, show me what you're good at! Never enough! Not perfect! Then I scream in ways of unimaginable pain. I blow torch goes to the side of my face I grab at my face the first layers of skin black and hard but as I pull at the skin it starts to stretch and falls on the floor.
More blood pours out my wrists; how I am still alive? I fight with all I have in me I scream in pain. My teeth fall out one by one as the blades dig deep into my cheeks. It starts to rain, as it pours I feel my body start to melt. I pull at my skin it turns to liquid. I mix together like water colors. The pain becomes bearable. but the words still dig deep. "Love me! I hate myself, Why did you leave me! Come on baby show some skin for your master! Cut deeper! Die!" I finally melt to nothing and I no longer feel pain. I am at last free, the pain no longer exist. I no longer exist, being dead is better than I thought, now I can take my revenge, now they can all suffer the way they made me suffer.
