my heart leaps in my throat

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mary's heart pounds in her throat as she sits stiffly on sonya's bed. sonya seems unbothered, poised, studying her reflection in the mirror near the wall. she's let her hair down, and it cascades down her neck, wavy from the braids. it doesn't cover up her bare shoulders, though, and mary can't help but feel like she's seeing something thing she shouldn't.

it really isn't very proper, she realizes. if an unmarried man and woman were to do something like this, mary knows they'd immediately be shunned from society. for the two of them, it's a little different; they're still young, and can certainly pass this off as two friends wanting to be alone to talk about men or dresses or whatever frivolous things people like to think think young girls talk about. men don't cross mary's mind as she stares at the outline of sonya's waist under her slip; she's glad there are no dresses involved as she admires the line of sonya's leg resting to the side of the chair.

sonya twists around, resting her chin on the chair's back. she studies mary for a moment, and mary flushes under her gaze. sonya seems to consider her words before she speaks.

"mashunya, come and kiss me," she says with a soft smile, standing up. mary's heart leaps in her chest. she walks to sonya on trembling legs and kisses her. it feels different. they've kissed before, yes, but they've always been something sweet and friendly, kisses that could happen in front of family and nobody would bat an eye. now, though, sonya presses her tongue between mary's lips and mary's hands flail for a moment before they come to rest on sonya's hips. mary's afraid to hold onto her too hard, as if she'll break underneath her fingers.

sonya clutches at the front of mary's dress, the sleeve slipping down her shoulder slightly. mary feels an overwhelming urge to pull away and cover herself up, but she trusts sonya. she doesn't need to be afraid. sonya's fingertips skim over mary's collarbone and shoulder so tenderly that mary has to pull away from the kiss to suck in a gasp of air. sonya brushes mary's hair away from her face.

"you're beautiful," whispers sonya, and mary blushes. sonya takes mary's hands in hers and clutches them toward her chest. "really, it's true. don't look at me like that." sonya presses her forehead to mary's. mary tries to drink it all in: the sparkling hazel of sonya's eyes, the soft upward curve of her lips, the pieces of hair falling into her face. sonya, sonya, sonya. mary's breath catches in her throat as sonya grabs her around the waist and pulls her down to the bed.

it feels to mary that everything is melting away. all she can feel is sonya, her lips on hers and the soft satin of her underclothes sliding against mary's fingers. she had never thought kissing could be so...enjoyable. it's always seemed like a formality to her; something to bring her uncomfortably close to people she sometimes barely knows. with sonya, though, mary feels as if she can't ever get close enough. it's a strange feeling. mary thinks she likes it.

mary could stay there forever, but still lets sonya pull their bodies closer, lets her break the kiss and bring her lips to the delicate skin of mary's collarbone, pressing feather-light kisses over it. mary shivers. sonya grazes her teeth over the most sensitive spot on her neck, and mary makes a tiny noise in the back of her throat. mary feels more at ease with sonya than she does with anyone, but she can sense a vague energy thrumming beneath her skin; something tingling low in her stomach. sonya's fingers rest teasingly at the neckline of mary's dress, her fingernails sending shivers through mary's body. sonya pulls back, smirking slightly, and mary's face flushes.

sonya's fingers make their way to the hem of mary's dress, her eyes wide in a silent question. her knuckles brush against mary's leg, and she flinches in spite of herself.

"wait...you- you first," she manages, breathing in quickly and grabbing at sonya's arm. sonya nods and pulls her slip over her head as if it's nothing to her. mary suddenly realizes that sonya is wearing nothing else under it. she instinctually averts her eyes, heart jumping into her throat. sonya reaches up to touch her cheek, guiding mary's gaze back to her face.

"it's alright. you can look." there's a slight lilt of laughter in sonya's voice, but mary doesn't notice. she's too caught up in sonya's radiance. she decides right there that nothing can look more beautiful than a woman, than sonya. she isn't quite sure how a single person could hold such beauty. she freezes up a little.

"sonya—i don't—i don't know what i'm doing—i've never..." she trails off as sonya takes her hands and presses a kiss to each knuckle, can only stare in awe as sonya guides her fingers to trace her breasts, down the line of her waist, her thighs. sonya moves slowly, deliberately, and she's soft and warm and mary thinks she might pass out right then and there. her hand finally makes its way between sonya's legs, and sonya grabs her wrist with a gasp.

the slide of mary's fingers against sonya is foreign to her, and the way sonya bites her lip and groans in the back of her throat as mary touches her is something captivating. mary suddenly understands the tingling feeling: it's want. she's never wanted anything more than this, and as sonya releases her wrist, mary presses into her with a new sort of confidence. (shy confidence, but confidence nonetheless.) sonya clings to her elbow, struggling to keep silent as mary starts to discover exactly what makes sonya keen and dig her fingernails into mary's skin.

mary can't be sure how long it's been, but sonya suddenly leans her her head into mary's shoulder, muffling her cry as she tenses around mary's fingers. mary can feel her eyes going wide, her cheeks flushing, at what she thinks might be one of the most beautiful things she's ever seen: sonya, coming undone before her; trusting her whole self to mary. sonya pauses for a moment, panting, her breath fanning across mary's neck and making he shiver. she pulls back and brushes her finger across mary's face, another mischievous grin on her face.

"your turn," she murmurs, lips just grazing mary's. mary draws back and pulls off her own dress, pausing for a moment as sonya wraps her hands around her waist and kisses her, slightly messy, but still as tender as she knows sonya to be. sonya's hands roam down mary's sides, catching on her underclothes. mary shivers under her touch. somehow she's wearing nothing, and she thinks she should be self-conscious, but sonya is looking at her with such an admiration in her eyes that mary's mind can't linger on anything for too long. sonya gently presses her onto the mattress.

she lets her lips touch mary's neck again, brushing down her collarbone and pausing between mary's breasts, sucking lightly. mary loses herself in the feeling of sonya's hands on her bare skin; in her perfect mouth, pressing all over her body. she twitches as sonya lightly scrapes her teeth across the jut of her hipbone, draws in a sharp breath as her fingers creep higher on mary's thigh, gently parting her legs. it's strange, she thinks, having someone else touch her there, but it's somehow comforting, too. sonya's nose brushes against the sensitive skin of mary's inner thigh, followed by her lips. mary makes a noise low in her throat, a soft moan that surprises even her. she glances down and nods quickly at the silent question glimmering in sonya's eyes.

and, oh god, those are sonya's fingers teasing her, and mary gasps and presses her hips closer. mary barely has time to wonder why sonya's face is almost touching her until she feels what has must be her tongue, swiping up with no warning. an ah escapes mary, far too loud, and she bites at her knuckle to keep quiet. legs tightening around sonya's head, she scrambles for something to hold onto, grabbing at the sheets she lies on. sonya's tongue is unrelenting, if clumsy, and mary's heart feels like it might burst in her chest from the way it pounds. she can't quite make sense of her thoughts. sonya's fingers join, and the strange tingling feeling seems to tighten in her stomach as she pushes herself even closer to sonya's mouth.

"sonyushenka," is all she can manage as she threads her fingers through sonya's hair and screws her eyes shut, falling back against the bed. sonya reaches a soft hand toward mary's cheek, brushing a stray piece of hair out of her eyes as mary catches her breath. she smiles something tiny and contained, but mary knows those eyes enough to know the feelings that lies beneath them.

she loves sonya, she thinks. it's a comforting thought.

my heart leaps in my throat (great comet; sonyamary)Where stories live. Discover now