Everyone has their own story,
A book of their life to how it is today,
Some people have moved chapters,
Others still lingering on the same page.
Stages of their life from holding on to moving on, giving up and staying strong, rewards for doing right, the consequences of the wrong.
Times when you put a comma rather than a full stop, paragraph to paragraph, block after block.
Some of you are stuck and see a bad end to your book, you're praying for vision or a little bit of luck.
Rough nights, because you find life so difficult and can't see no inspiration. To find a way not to wake tomorrow is your motivation.
I know how it feels.
I know how it feels to be locked up, isolated and suffocated by your own thoughts.
Brought to tears because the world around you is so cold, and distant.
Distancing yourself from everyone because you need protection from the rejection that everyone is going to give and finding so difficult to realise why you want to live.
I know what it means to force a smile in public places, hiding your emotions, being replaced and things getting better for like a day. Making change and it going in a full circle, can't get off that one page.
Paper cuts and scars from trying to end it all, layer after layer, fall after fall, feeling like a fool and losing everyone.
I know what it is to wake up in the morning with a sigh because last night you begged God to take your life, all sharp stuff hidden, not being trusted with a butter knife and boxing up your emotions because people would always try to ask questions about why you are the way you are. Instead of helping out or asking how you are, they're looking for an answer and trying to tell you who you are. Maybe its this maybe its that, suicidal, i think she needs a doctor. Debates going on around to whether I need hospital or medication, them trying to hold me down, named with a label.
But i also know how it feels to fight to get my life on track, pushing myself forward everytime its going back. Battling every thought that tries to attack. To surround yourself with people, family and friends. To know what it means to love again, to find something in your life that gives you strength, having vision and moving forward to extreme lengths.
2012, I was struggling to see where my life would take me. No talents, no motivation, isolated, hated. My days were spend in bed, nights crying. No hope, near death, long sleeves, pretending.
2013 I said goodbye to that old book, found God, fought the battle, never gave up. Started writing poetry, acting, dancing and things were looking up. New hope, new life, real smiles, family, love.
And no matter what happens now, when I stumble I shake it off and start to walk, turned from a failure to someone that can perform.
So, with God and by believing in yourself you can overcome. No matter what point your at, inside is a battle waiting to be won by you. There's nothing you can't do so no matter what page your on, rip it out, carry on, start anew.
Reflect, look back, only you know where you want to be.
Everyone has their story and yours will be worth telling.
