Love set my soul on fire.
I always considered myself to be a grounded, pragmatic individual, so when I thought you could completely change my life and fix me because it felt like glitter was exploding inside of me every time you talked to me, I should have stopped myself. You could not fix me. I was so young, but I should have known.
The way you made me feel is something that, years later, I still have not been able to replicate in any relationship. Maybe it's because I knew I was destroying myself and I won't let myself do that anymore. Maybe it's because you're the first person I ever truly loved with my whole being. You took a part of me, and that is okay. I gave you that part of me willingly, but I wonder who I would be today if I had never done so. Would I still flinch when anyone tries to touch me? Would I still run away when people get too close? Would I still be so deathly afraid of myself and what I am capable of?
I fed off of you for too long and you took advantage of that. I thought I needed you to live. I did not.
I don't know if I am grateful for you, or if you were the worst decision I've ever made.
YOU ARE READING
Coffee and Spilled Ink
ChickLit"I desire the things which will destroy me in the end" - sylvia plath. This story ultimately chronicles what it is like to love an abuser. The love is exhilarating and enticing and perfect in one breath, and absolutely devastating in another. This s...
