Rebellious

❇ Chapter 3 ❇

As the sun slowly rises above the mountains and punctures the tips of the trees with its invasive light, I struggle to remember who I am and what happened the past 24 hours. Everything seems muddled and blurry at first, until thoughts come rushing back in. Who am I? I ask myself. I am Sylvia. I am 16 years old and my family is dead. I am now homeless; wandering; lost in the despair of my own thoughts. I was taking an innocent hiking trip with my family when they were mysteriously murdered. I don't know why they were killed or by who, all I know is that they were shot and now they all lie dead in the middle of a forest.

Meanwhile, I have found my way to a small village out beyond the forest. I remembered seeing my family, all dead and face-down on the trail last night, and how I couldn't cope with the pain of losing them. My plan was to head back down the trail, drive home in their car, and alert the police of their death. I would commemorate their legacy by continuing to live on with them in my loving memory.

But I could never do that. I could never just go home as if all was well after my family was murdered. I wonder why I can be so blunt about my family's death; most people can't even think the word without being driven to tears.

Perhaps I am stronger, or life has hardened me more to the point where I show less weakness than I probably should. I don't want to think thoughts such as, my family is in a better place now, or, they're dead, but they'll always be in our hearts, because I don't know that for sure. I don't know where they went after death, and I'm not sure how many people are going to remember my family but me. But I can state the plain and obvious fact: they are dead, and there is no going back.

So, instead of heading back down the beaten trail to the car and driving into the city to begin a life of my own, doing what everyone would expect me to do, I follow a different path. I run off the trail, never wanting to be near it again after what I'd seen. After awhile of just wandering among the trees, listening to nature's sounds of day as I try to put past myself what happened during the night. I was guessing that I headed in the wrong direction, but at this point I honestly didn't care. My soul had left me, and I must've been spending the time mentally training myself until the death of my family no longer upset me.

I really hated my life, if it hadn't already been lost with the death of my family. Why did everything always have to seem to go so wrong? I really just wanted my family back or at least a life that wasn't running towards a dead end. I hated the fact that I would probably never get to live the life of a normal teenage girl, but it had always been my reality. Normality was a fantasy that was so far from my grasp, it felt as if it existed in another universe. My life had never been exactly normal and perfect, but it was stable and secure. Now, I don't even have that anymore. I am stuck, alone, and lost.

I eventually found my way out of the forest and was able to find a road. After awhile of wandering in the forest, I've quickly realized that I do not have apt wilderness survival skills. I have no idea where I am; there isn't even a car in sight to ask for directions. However, I realize that I'm going to have to find civilization at some point, or I would have an even worse fate than my family.

Enough about them, I chide myself. You promised yourself not to think about them anymore. They are gone, and done. You are not. Now shut up and focus on your own survival.

This thought hits me like a bullet wound to the chest the moment I process it. This is what my life has become; what I have become. I am awoken to my reality and again go into pure survival mode.

I hear a stream gently trickling nearby so I start walking toward it, hoping I could get some fresh water. Of course, it was all dirty and not drinkable. Unfortunately, due to my lack of wilderness survival experience, I didn't know how to purify it. I sit down and could feel a tear rebelliously streaming down my face, despite the mental criticism I'd forced upon myself earlier. No matter how hard I coached myself and tried to focus on anything but them, it was always my family that came to mind.

Again, I stopped myself. They are gone. They aren't coming back. You are alive. You can survive, I repeated over and over to myself, until it became a chant, and then a strangled war cry sounding like anything but myself.

I feel a tap on my shoulder. It startles me and I quickly dart back and step away. All kinds of creatures could be lurking around here.

As I turn around, a tall, buff-looking man with a confused expression ruining his tough composure stands over me. In a deep, baritone voice, he asks me, "Are you lost?"

I don't reply, but only back away further towards the stream. The man has a kind enough expression, genuinely confused and concerned. But everyone looks genuine until you realize their true intentions. Suddenly, a horrible thought strikes me. Could this be the one who killed my family? Suddenly, every muscle in my body tenses, and for a second I have the urge to kill him.

Yet, my instinct tells me he has good intentions, and I'm fairly certain the killer went in a different direction. I try to analyze every detail about him to determine his intentions, although the process is difficult. I back away cautiously, eyeing him like a prey might assess its predator.

"Hey, don't worry, I don't bite," he laughs as he notices my frightened expression. "I could help you out if you'd like, bring you back home."

 I was exhausted and couldn't think straight; I couldn't quite remember all the potential dangers of getting into a car with this stranger. I am beyond help at this point. I am alone, therefore that is what I must be.

I cringe as I utter, "No, get away from me." My voice is slow and broken, but my heart felt like it was beating a million beats per second.

"Alright, alright, I was just trying to help," he raises his hands in surrender. There's a town about 10 miles to the east, if that's where you're headed." he points to the left.

I don't respond. I turn my back at him as soon as possible and hop over the stream, immediately creating a rift between us. I step into the gloomy trees until they hide me from view.

Although I don't hesitate to take his advice. I'm lost and helpless, and now I've received help. I really have no other option other than death via forest. I turn towards the east and continue on that way, brushing through the tangle of leaves and branches with as much force as I can.

I head in the general direction of the town until I can finally see it in the distance. At this point, I just want to have some sort of chance at survival, even though I know I have no chance. I now understand what true loneliness really is. Before, I had my family; I had people there to support me.

Now, I have no one but myself.

Not one hot tear touches my eyes as I look out into the distance. Now, I am nothing more than adrenaline and determination.

Alone, I can survive.