Banished

Chapter 1

Since then, my life has been full of numbers.

It's funny how my school teachers
would compare them
to such different things, though.

I'd always have to answer to
"Cassandra, how many books am I holding?"
and,
"Cassandra, go back to your abacus,"
and,
"Cassandra, are you still paying attention?"

They were never really impressed,
especially at a young age.
When all I got to do was add,
when all I wanted to do was explore.

But I lost that curiosity.
That innocence.

I have so many stories
I remember so vividly
it's unreal.

Because it was never the horses or the books or the dresses or the painting for me.

And no matter how much I had
I still wanted more

Never resting, always unsatisfied.

Sometimes I wonder if I am still that way.
If I still have
the greed I did before.

But I also know if there was any greed in me
It is not the greed for more material

But the hunger for justice

and revenge.

Back to the part where I explain
my numbers, yes.
It is so easy to stray when telling a story.

Since the arrows flew that day in spring,
I've noticed a series of numbers.

Starting with 1.
1 Inter-National Dining Banquet
5,000.
I'd like to say some 5,000 attended.
5.
5 years ago.
And finally, 3.

3 people shot,
3 people dead,
3 arrows, from that corner in the ceiling.

The first a tall, elderly man.
He first dropped to his knees, I remember.

The second, a small, fragile girl.
Daughter of some important duke
of whose name I knew not.
I never bothered to want to know.

And third, Great Kind Joshua of the 9 nations. 

Joshua Grace, my father.

The only person who didn't
call me by my full name,
or frown in spite as I approached them.
And the only other person than myself
That I loved.

His words were the only ones
that could ever have taken effect on me

the terrible, jealous, greedy, and selfish
spoiled princess of the 9 nations.
The ultimate suitor
is what they used to call me

until they started to hate me.

Come my 14th year, I would start to deny
the requests of marriage.

Not enough money,
Not a big enough castle, and as
more and more came in,
the faster I would turn them down

Until one day, when my father finally
broke, and said yes to one of them
without my consent.

But we'll get back to that later.

Now about my mother.
There were also many rumors
comparing me to my mother.
Most believed we were very similar in
personality.
Some even thought my mother was
worse than me.

And to her, well, I still don't know.
I rarely ever saw her.
Everybody knew
she was not going to stay forever
with my father, and so when
that unexpected moment came,
nobody was surprised when she vanished.

And so everyone saw me as a monster.
And so I was my mother's monster.

I am not proud of my past,
which was corrupted
by my coming power,

my riches, my status,
when I had no clue
of what everyone really thought me of.

Which is why why when the arrows came
I wasn't ready for them.
Why the arrows were blind to me
in so many ways.