Before Separation

2- Tutoring

"Yeah Mom, I'm staying. Alright, bye." I hang up the phone. I understand that my mom wants what's best for me. I just don't think she really understands what is best for me.
The hall monitor stares at me as I put the phone back onto the table. I had to use the school phone from the office since my phone died. Also my mom, of course, didn't pick up. Voicemail, as per usual. I look at the cafeteria; that's where the tutoring is held. I know I should go but it's just bull, I don't need it. I want to make my mom happy, I really do but lately it seems nothing can make her happy. Nothing I do anyways. I'm starting to think that even if my grades are down she's just pushing me to tutoring so I'll be out of the house.
I breathe in and out, I start walking towards the cafeteria. The closer I get the more I hear voices; I can't do it. I look up, I'm pretty sure they lock the doors to the second floor after school. I look behind me and the hall monitor is still staring at me, what the hell? I walk towards the boys bathroom instead.
I walk in and surprisingly it smells, breathable. I'm guessing the custodian is already working. I look at my reflection in the mirror. When did I get so pale? I look scrawny and weak. So damn weak.
"Oh come on Gabe! You're suppose to be a damn man! Why are you crying to your mom? You're weak. Pathetic!"
"Don't talk to him like that! He's scared!"
"Maybe he wouldn't be scared if he grew the hell up and became a man!"
I closed my eyes and covered my ears. I'm weak.
I look back at myself in the mirror. I punch the sink and I pull back my hand in pain. What a mess, I am. I close my eyes again; I breathe in and out. What would Mrs. Handly tell me? What would she say? Probably something like: let those feelings go Gabe. Let all the negative thinking go away.
I turn on the sink and splash my face with water. I'm weak.
I turn off the sink and wipe my hands and face. I walk out and without turning around I head towards the back of the school. I go up the stairway at the back of the school and surprisingly it's open. Maybe they forget to lock these doors since we don't really use them. Who knows?
I walk up to the second floor and it's empty. At least I'm assuming it is, I hear no. I walk slowly down the hall and try opening my English classroom, it's locked. I turn around and try to open what looks like another English classroom but that's locked as well.
I look towards the end of the hallway, no ones around. I sit down and look up at the ceiling. What's wrong with me. Why am I like this?
Just as I'm entering my thoughts I hear what sounds like multiple footsteps, oh no. I quickly get up and start walking further down the hall away from the footsteps. What I'm hoping is, they whoever they is goes down the stairs and not this way. I'm wrong.
I hear the footsteps get closer and then I hear less feet, if that makes sense. But whoever it is, is coming this way. Oh just suck it up, I tell myself. What's the worse that can happen? I get in trouble for being up here? Whatever. I know if they call my mom she probably won't like it but can they even call her? I'm not doing anything wrong.
As the footsteps approach the end of the hallway and I'm still hiding behind a wall I feel my breathing start speeding up. I'm trying to control it and count sheep but it's not in my control. I close my eyes, come on not right now. I repeat to myself to calm down, something my teachers often tell me.
"Are you alright?" I open my eyes and I'm met with the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. Holy.
"Well?" She smiles at me and I nod. She is so beautiful. I'm memorized by her beauty. I can't stop myself from staring into her eyes.
"Are you stoned?" She laughs and I've never felt this, but I'm pretty sure it'd be the part in the movie where the main character gets butterflies in their stomach. Because that's what I think I feel. I shake my head at her question and I know, I know my cheeks are red. There are many reasons. 1) She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and she's right in front of me, 2) I made her laugh, one of the best things I've ever heard, 3) Her gorgeous green eyes are staring at me.
"If you're not stoned, what are you doing up here?" She continues staring at me and I can't talk. Like physically or would it be vocally? Well either way I can't speak. Nothing, no voice seems to come out.
"Yo, Williams. Got the janitors keys, you coming or what?" She turns and gives the guy who called her a nod. She looks at me and I look down. Well at least I met her.
    "Wanna come?" She asks and I look up at her again. She's smiling at me and I smile and nod. What the heck? I get to spend time with the most beautiful girl in the world.