Degenerates

4

Sage's mind was fading.

Each hit she took, robbing her of another little piece of herself. She was aware of this, and knew that one day, she may wind up nothing more than a body. A mindless zombie, indifferent to anything other than the task at hand; her fix.

Of course that was a fear of hers. But, maybe not so much something she feared as much as something she dreaded. Perhaps she'd already accepted the inevitability of her fate.

It was almost as if she could feel herself rotting away.

Life through the eyes of a junkie was black and white. There were no pleasures, no joy, no excitement. But, their was also a lack of regret, remorse, and more or less; a conscience. Everything that made her human was slowly being sucked out of her like the nectar drained from a flower.

The only thing she was sure she still held onto was her memories. Mainly because her memories were more like scars, and although not every memory was a bad one, the good ones were the quickest to fade away. Mental pain was nothing like physical pain. A broken bone can easily be re-broken and healed within a few months. A scratch will scab over and a bruise will fade away.

Physical pain has nothing on mental pain.

Mental pain not only scars you heart, but re-programs your mind. Heart break will give you a whole new outlook on life. It will teach you how to build walls to protect yourself, and to block out feelings altogether. Your heart is a survivor. Your mind, is a warrior. It not only fights for you but against you as well. See, your mind knows everything from your fears to your deepest insecurities. It will torment you until you have lost trust for everybody including yourself.

Sage often found herself lost in thoughts like these.

She stared blankly at the seemingly endless pile of books in front of her, waiting to be shelved. It was difficult for her to stay focused on a task as simple as that for longer than a few minutes before her mind began to wander. She'd always been that way, her struggle only growing worse with the amounts of drugs she's allowed into her system.

Her fingers traced the spine of each book as she mindlessly shelved them in their proper slots. She couldn't help her wandering eyes as they continuously found their focal point on the boy only few short feet away from her.

Tate.

He sat on the floor, his back resting against the wooden bookshelf behind him. He held a novel in his hands, his eyebrows pulled together as he concentrated on the words in front of him. Sage made sure her glances were quick and discrete, hoping to remain unnoticed.

"Well? Go talk to him," A voice spoke from behind her, causing her to jump and drop the book in her hand. Tammy chuckled lightly as Sage scrambled to pick up the book and put it on the self. "Uh, what?" She stuttered, acting clueless.

"Come on, I've been watching you stare at him since the moment he walked in here,"

Apparently her attempts hadn't gone unnoticed by everyone.

"He's a nice boy. Easy on the eyes, too. I don't blame you for staring," She said, amusement clear in her tone. Sage simply blushed and returned to the task at hand.

"Now, I've never seen that boy be anything but a sweet heart to anyone he's come across. Especially if that were to be a pretty girl like you," she continued, "Why so bashful?"

Why was she so nervous to talk to him, Sage wondered. It was only a week ago that he had welcomed her into his home, maybe for unorthodox reasons, but nevertheless spent the day with her, doing absolutely nothing besides enjoying each other's company.