i love you (and your insecurities)

01.

In the living room

soonyoung looked at jihoon who was sitting at the corner. it was movie night with their members, and the both of them were sitting separately for some reason.

soonyoung felt a nudge at his side, so he looked at the person who was sitting beside him, which happened to be his best friend, wonwoo.

"what's up with you and jihoon? did you guys fight?" wonwoo asked quietly, making sure that only soonyoung could hear. soonyoung sighed before a frown was seen on his face. soonyoung looked back to where jihoon was seated at on the floor.

"i don't know man, i've been trying to find out what happened. he didn't even want to talk to me at all! i wonder what i did to make him ignore me..."

"did you make him jealous or something?"

"no, i'm pretty sure i didn't... help me, i want to talk to jihoon again. i miss him so much..." soonyoung frowned even more.

"does he talk to you when we're all around?"

"...rarely. he only talks to me if you guys are around and only when i approach him. he doesn't even approach me!"

"hmm... soonyoung, i suggest that you talk to him in his studio. that's when he'll be alone, right?"

"i've tried that, he didn't budge."

"you could try again?" soonyoung thought for a moment, before agreeing silently. jihoon was currently laying his head on jeonghan's shoulder and probably already sleeping. soonyoung glanced at jeonghan, who was stroking jihoon's hair the whole time lovingly as if he was jihoon's real mother. soonyoung smiled a little at the sight.

"yah, if you need any help, you know you can always approach me, right?" wonwoo said. soonyoung looked at wonwoo, and smiled.

"thanks, you're really my best friend for a reason, jeon wonwoo."

"no problem, kwon soonyoung."

•••

In Jihoon's studio

"soonyoung? w-what are you doing in here?" jihoon asked from his comfortable seat. was it even comfortable anymore? jihoon doesn't know.

"baby... you've been ignoring me for weeks now. can you please tell me what i did wrong?" soonyoung, who was still standing next to the door, said pleadingly. jihoon looked at soonyoung for 3 seconds before looking down at the carpetted floor.

"y-you didn't do anything, soonyoung. it's nothing, i'm not ignoring you. don't you have work or something? go back to choreographing those dances—"

"babe, stop changing the subject! i know that there's something wrong. please tell me what it is, i'll try my best to change it... i missed you so much, jihoon."

"i told you, soonyoung. it's not you... it's me."

"what do you mean? you didn't do anything!" jihoon bit his lip before continuing.

"i-i'm insecure. of our relationship, of everything, of myself. i just felt that you deserve a better person than me. i'm j-just a short, grumpy, ugly, fat, untalented human-being. you should go find yourself someone that isn't like me. maybe seokmin, he's bright and cheerful, he makes a lot of jokes that'll make you laugh. which is something i can't do. i only cause you frustration and worry. so s-soonyoung please, just leave me alone, we should break up or somethinh, i don't want you suffering because of me. i-i love you, but i know when to let go, soonyoung." by the time jihoon ended his speech, he had tears rolling down his cheeks and he started to sob quietly.

soonyoung was speechless. he never knew jihoon thought of himself that way. but he knew that jihoon was the total opposite of what he described himself; fun-sized, cute and talented.

he kneeled down to look at jihoon, eye-level. his thumb and index finger raised jihoon's head a little so that jihoon would look at him in the eye.

"jihoonie, my lovely baby, you're the most talented, beautiful, adorable person i've seen in my whole life. you're like a fairy, my fairy. small, magical, and cute. you're the perfect person for me. i love you so much, and no, seokmin is not my type. that's just weird. i only see him as a brother. however, you, in fact, are my type. haven't you heard of the saying, 'opposites attract'? that is exactly the both of us. and it doesn't bother me at all. because i love you, and you love me, right? and i don't want us to break up! neither do you, i'm sure of that." soonyoung held jihoon's face in his hands, his thumbs gently wiping away jihoon's stray tears.

"s-soonyoung... thank you. for loving me, and caring for me... i really don't deserve someone perfect like you."

"babe, you're perfect too. shouldn't i also thank you for loving and caring for me? doesn't that mean i don't deserve someone perfect like you either?"

"...i'm not perfect, but y-yeah. you deserve someone better. not me." jihoon said as he played around with his fingers. soonyoung's heart broke even more when he saw jihoon's sad look and tears once again.

"i'll wait until you learn to love yourself, baby. i'll be beside you. i won't ever leave you. and remember, you're perfect. you're beautiful, kind, talented, cute, and that's enough for me." jihoon felt a new wave of fresh tears coming, so when he hugged soonyoung, he cried his heart out.

"there, there... i love you so much, jihoonie." soonyoung cooed as he pat jihoon's back gently. he pulled back and planted multiple kisses on jihoon's lips, then hugged jihoon again, sighing contently.

•••

"baby, never think of yourself that way ever again okay?" soonyoung said strictly once they both were cuddling on the bed in their room with a blanket over them. jihoon slowly nodded, before he proceeded to bury his head into soonyoung's chest. jihoon brought his fists up to hold handfuls of soonyoung's shirt, making sure soonyoung wouldn't leave him. soonyoung chuckled as he pulled jihoon closer by wrapping his arms around jihoon's waist, then kissing the top of jihoon's head before whispering, "good night, baby. i love you."

soonyoung was falling asleep when he heard a small voice mumbling, "good night, youngie. i love you too.."

both soonyoung and jihoon had a great night's sleep that day.

•••