Diary of a Sanka Devi

Operation Catch-A-Prince: Day 1

Operation Catch-A-Prince: Day 1

Dear Diary,

Everything feels a lot more real now that I have a nicely underlined title. Jiji thinks my idea is 'ridiculous,' and 'fanciful.' She thinks I don't know she was just looking for an excuse to show off the fancy new words she learned in school. I saw her spelling test with those very words on them and told her as much too, only to have her huff at me in response and turn away. But I, Khushi Kumari Gupta, future princess/Prime Minister of India (I'm flexible with job options, really), will not allow my ideas to be doubted like this. It was because of that, that I compiled this comprehensive (how's that for fancy words, Jiji?) list of pros and cons to Operation Catch-A-Prince.

Pros

- Will be married to the cutest boy in school

- Cutest boy in school will get to be married to me

- He will get access to my fast-growing collection of Salman Khan merchandise

- Someone else will do the math at Babuji's store so I won't have to anymore

- Will get jalebis whenever he wants

- Will motivate me to finish learning how to make jalebis

- Will lead to me getting jalebis whenever I want

- Brij from across the street will stop smiling weirdly at me cause I am now a taken woman

Cons

- He might end up being weird (like Brij from across the street) and how do I break his heart then?

... It's a risk I'm willing to take though.

I brought you (my diary) with me to school today, that way I can document every little thing that happens today. Here's what I've got so far.

8:30 AM - School begins, I sit in class.

8:35 AM - Rohan Verma, who sits at the desk beside mine, takes his gum out of his mouth when he thinks no one is looking and sticks it under the desk. Ew.

8:37 AM - He takes a sip from his water bottle

8:40 AM - He glances around and PUTS THE PIECE OF GUM BACK IN HIS MOUTH!! HAI DEVI MAIYA I CAN'T.

At that point, the strain of constant vigilance became a bit much and I decided to wait till lunch to continue documenting my experiences, seeing as though I wouldn't see Arnav till then anyways. And sure enough. There he is, standing under a tree on the far side of the courtyard. He looks like he's thinking about something. Probably something super smart... like the Pythagorean Theorem or something. Man, he can probably do that without a calculator. At this point Jiji, who has been reading over my shoulder like some sort of sneak apparently, pipes up to say "It's not like that's hard, Khushi. At his age, he should be able to do that mentally."

I stared at her before calmly suggesting that she focus on her dal chawal before the pigeons pecked it all away and she was left hungry. Smart girl that she is, she listened, which left me free to admire my future prince in peace. He's taller than the other boys, they all crowd around him begging for his attention like that one time I left the house with a piece of barfi in my hand and the pigeons chased me, screaming, all the way down the street and didn't leave until Babuji chased them off with a broom. On Sports Day, he ran faster than all of the boys in his class. We'd make such a perfect pair, both born athletes. When I voiced this thought of mine, Jiji laughed so hard she choked on her lunch and I, being the benevolent goddess I am, swatted her on the back, maybe a little bit harder than necessary, until she caught her breath.

"Khushi," she said mockingly. "You? An athlete? On Sports Day you fell the minute the race started because the sound of the buzzer scared you."

How utterly cruel of her to bring that cursed day up like this. So callously (Score! Another fancy word). I sniffed and told her that she obviously hadn't seen my feats of strength which included, but were not limited to:

- Lifting bags of sugar

- Lifting trays of jalebis

- Lifting... other things too

And to make things even worse, Jiji's embarrassing choking and her statement hadn't gone unnoticed. I had glanced back in Arnav's direction only to find him already looking over at us. He looked away immediately, not before I got a split second to admire the full force of his face, but the damage was done. He had probably even heard Jiji's shrieked mention of my darkest day. How would he ever love me now?

Nonsense. He had to love me. Why would he not? He was such a smart boy, surely smart enough to realize that we would be perfect together. And if he wasn't? Well, then that was a problem entirely its own, I'd have to spell it out for him. I had once heard Sheila Mausi from across the street whisper to her friend that men didn't think with their brains. What they thought with then I wasn't sure of yet, but considering that Arnav Malik was a lone man in a sea of young boys, he too must think with whatever Sheila Mausi was referencing to.

Buaji was of the opinion that to ensnare a man you had to attract him with scented oils, large amounts of eyeliner, and eye movements that bordered on looking like a seizure. To be fair, I don't think I had been meant to hear her, but it didn't change that she had given me, a young woman on the prowl, invaluable information. Before any of that, I had to get his attention.

"What are you going to do, Khushi?" Jiji said in that stupid judgey way of hers while she neatly packed up her tiffin. "Throw your pencil case at him?"

.... Well now that she mentioned it, it would definitely serve to get his attention? If he could ignore my pencil case hitting his beautiful face (and with my aim there was a large chance of that happening), he was much more of a man than I had originally thought.

So it was decided then. I, Khushi Kumari Gupta, would throw my bedazzled pencil case at Arnav Malik and he would look at me and fall in love and then he'd say, in a voice that sounded coincidentally a lot like Salman Khan's, "chalti hai kya 9 se 12?"

Will update you soon.

Signed,

Khushi Kumari Gupta