Seeking Satisfaction

Chapter 2

The vast, endless sky was beginning to dim, enough that the brilliant stars were visible above. The stars were so wonderfully bold and radiant, their light shining against the tapestry of night. The breathtaking, white full moon stood high in the sky, its glow illuminating everything around it. The air was cooling, becoming chill against my pale skin. Quiet was the forest, with the exception of the night animals that were just beginning their day.

I slowly readjusted my position, leaning against Mickey's chest. I could feel his gentle but firm hands hug loosely around my waist as I snuggled closer to him. The warmth of his body up against mine was comforting and gave me a sense of security.

We sat, Mick's back touching the thin, torn, green fabric of my tent, observing the night life.

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if my mother hadn't been murdered?" I asked him, unable to resist my questioning curiosity. His hands tightened their hold around my waist as he hesitated for a moment, probably thinking.

"There's no point, all of these what-ifs. We can't change the past. But I suppose if your mother hadn't died, you would never have met me. And admit it, you love me. I would be a lonely young chap right now causing trouble in the market place. It was fate, Willow." It surprised me how misunderstood and angered I felt when he said that. Although I knew that he was trying to help me, his attempt to avoid the conversation was weak and unwanted. I knew that my constant reminiscing was no good, but I needed to talk about it. I hadn't healed quite yet.

I turned my head towards him and furrowed my eyebrows. Taking on a stern tone I replied, "No, Mickey. It was definitely not fate. How is it fate for my mother to be cruelly murdered in public? Of all people, I thought you would understand how absolutely unfair and absurd it was. I trusted that you'd understand, but obviously you don't. How dare you even pretend to understand?! You care about nothing but yourself."

Even to me, I had come across a little harsh. Deep down I felt real guilty for the tone I had taken and how rash I had reacted, but I also knew it was for the good of everyone. I suppose I had been somewhat angered but my reaction completely exaggerated everything I felt. I had been given the perfect opportunity to loosen my attachment with him, and so I used it.

Although almost 10 years had passed since I was that afraid, little seven year old girl, I wished to remain as loyal to those promises I made as ever. I shall not grow too close to anyone. Sadly enough, Mick could be no exception.

My heart strings ripped as I saw the hurt appear in his jade eyes. The hurt became confusion, shock and then returned to the empty state of absolute despair. He said nothing as he let go of my waist, stood up and turned away. Stepping outside of the tent and disappearing into the night's darkness, he left without a goodbye.

I really should have said something. I really wanted to. But my promise was a promise.