Under the Stars

Chapter Five

Since the day I knew about Jakey, we both made a promise— to never leave each other's side forever. He always tells me that me and Caroline are his only real friends right now and he cannot go live on if one of us would leave him behind. Maybe this is what all abuses made him to be. He cannot help but to find someone to replace the warmth feeling of acceptance and love that his parents did not possibly give.

I admit too, it wasn't always a good feeling. I thought friendships were for playing in the park, or having sleepovers, or watching movies in the movie theater. But Jake became clingy. I don't know if Caroline noticed but he was becoming a boy who wanted our attention. He would get mad if he sees me talk to another classmate even if he knew it was for school stuff. He would then tell me that he felt like he would leave me which I found impossible. As the one who was always rational, I always assured him even if it was tiring. Always the same thing.

Then there's one time a boy came to me and gave me a little flower. Of course, the flower was beautiful as it happens to be a sunflower. I smiled and accepted it, said thanks for being nice even if the other classmates weren't fond of us. But then Jake found out. The next thing happened, we heard a news about a boy from my class hospitalized due to broken bones, stabs and bruises. At first, I thought 'who could have done that?'. But then I realized and solved the puzzle when I saw Jake on the hidden sink yesterday with his bloody hands. He was just smiling but I wasn't. The blood on his hands isn't a joke. He washed it like nothing happened. Well, may be nothing really happened. So I asked him.

"What happened?"

He just shrugged and told me that he got it because he was trying to bury a dead cat which was run over by a car. The cat was bleeding and there was nothing he could do to save it because he was not a doctor yet.

And I never have been so terrified about Jakey. That's why I chose to stay away from my classmates and act nasty. I don't want what the boy has experienced to them. I cannot tell my parents nor the teachers because I love Jake— he's my bestfriend and he's bullied.

So what happened to the boy then? He died.

He could've told the truth if he was alive. But the truth was buried together with him along with our lies. And I know that our lives would never be the same again. I'm just a kid learning slowly from the world, waiting to grow up and do grown-up stuff.

But I don't know what to do anymore now.

I cried on the tub for the lost friendship but there was something else too. I was afraid for Caroline. He was easy-going with Caroline but now me gone, I don't know how long it would take for her to realize that Jake isn't the boy that we adored anymore. He was the one who killed.

All she knew is that Jake was beaten up in his own home. That he needs our moral support and love. That our promises would heal him and make him happy. She thought it was for the best. But the best could be the worst. Both of them hate me now and there's nothing I could do which was also a lie. The truth is, I cannot bring myself to tell the truth. That's why I will choose the path that would break me from misery.

That was only the little part of it. The bigger part of it was I'm going to miss them so badly. I was used to hating my other classmates beside them. Even if how bad my idea was to leave Caroline without her knowledge about our dear friend, I have to do it. Maybe I am a coward girl. But I got to keep my mouth shut. This is the only way Caroline would be safe if she doesn't know the truth. I love her that I couldn't bear like literally losing another friend. I've been there and it wasn't the best time of life.

Boxes are packed neatly with signage and labels on them. Kitchen utensils, fragile ceramics, vases, even the TV was also packed in it's packaging that I never knew existed. The only thing that was left was the almost empty refrigerator because it has still water on them but Mother turned it off, the coffee and dining table which was covered in white cloth and the couch. Everything looks empty, barren.