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my friend luke was standing, blocking my locker with his tall body and gym bag with a happy grin on face. luck for me that my science class was in fact over and my brain wasn't completely blocked from properly functioning from the knowledge that i don't actually need to know do to the fact that it won't pertain to my major in college. i managed to mumble a hello and smile to my good friend, as i turn my locker dial that was about thirty years old and was rotting off with every once of air.
"quick question, why are you at my locker? with your dirty ass gym bag?" i peeked over at him, rolling his eyes into the back of his head. which was typical luke hemmings. "well, i can't off the top remember my combination, and i was hoping that you love me so much that you'll let me put it in your locker?" the big smile on his face almost made me bust a gut, all my friends have a certain pity smile that is only shown to me in times of desperation or pure laziness.
"it'll stink up all my things"
"please, come on calum! i thought we've been best friends for almost ten years" it was now my turn to make my eyes peer into the darkness of my brain, after agreeing to skunk out my locker with his smelly gym bag full of garbage, we walk down to the hall. between all our classes when are given ten minutes of free time to work on homework or loiter the halls with annoying laughter and loud commotion. in the back of my mind, i wanted the school day to end already, not because i am entirely tired of the classes, but because i wanted to be with saku. i couldn't quite put a finger on why i felt so excited or inclined to spend hours with him at a time. because it's because he's so different - interesting, and not like the average boy. he seemed more sure of himself and ready for the future.
he wants to become a professional artist and journalist, so he can happily provide for his sister and the rest of his family, that he hasn't quite mentioned. saku says art helped him through a sticky patch, a patch where he and his little sister didn't have a choice or a place to go, luckily a woman saw them on the street one magically day and dropped them off at the shelter with a few dollars and a fresh change of clothes.
i've never been the person that enjoyed deep, realistic stories from someone's own perspective, about their own tragedies and struggle, but i could see the passion and emotion in his eyes when he told me stories. that passion and emotion was addicting.
a soft nudge on my shoulder instantly snapped all my precious thoughts of saku. my attention was on luke, who was glancing out of a window i couldn't even remember walking to. "so, i know you hate that when i ask this, but-" i braced for impact, "- you and saku?"
just the sound of his name, awkwardly made blood rush to my cheeks. i wasn't sure if i liked that or not. "none of your business, robert"
"i've been wanting to ask for a while, thomas. he seems nice, cute too"
if i were a car, you'd literally be able to hear my brakes squealing from the amount of force, "no, no luke. whenever you say some boy is cute, you ask them out. please don't. he's- he's not your type" score one for bad excuses.
he just chuckled and pinched my cheeks like my grandma always does when i visit her during my school breaks, "dude, bro code. i know. plus you're too head over heels for him anyways. you two hanging out later?"
at first, i wanted to argue. i am not head over heels for a gorgeous brown eyed boy with cute curls and coils that looked magically in a bun or ponytail or just framing his face nicely, i am not crushing on him, i am merely interested in him. as in, he's intriguing and demands to be observed. or, maybe luke's right. my friends are usually always right. the depth of mind is a bit persistent in showing my advances towards over males because i am not good at reading body language or observing social cues to determine if things are flirtatious or just friendly.
"just, don't be inside your head too much, cal" having luke as a friend guarantees a personal advice coach, someones whose always lifting you up and helping make sure i'm not getting too deep into the denial and negative parts of my brain. i smile thankfully, and the rest of the day goes smoothly, as i try to plan things inside my head for after school, i'd walk beside him hoping my lack of social structure doesn't fail me, maybe the broken colored leaves will blow us in a different direction, our curiosity taking over. maybe, i'd offer us some music and perform a hilarious dance for him in the middle of the street while he laughs and casually joins in - i know i'm too shy, too inside myself to embarrass myself on purpose, but i would just to make him smile. as the day inches near the last hour of school, i realize something. i realize, that maybe i am in fact crushing on saku and maybe i'm crushing a bit too hard. a crush sounds so eerily simliar to a crash.
