Every Rose Must Wither

October 3rd

Something deep inside tells me that you've already fallen out of love with me. I don't really know what happened, or how it happened, but I guess it just did. For a long time, I've noticed that you were slowly slipping through my fingers. I guess it was selfish of me to try to hold on to you for as long as I could when I should've just let you be free. We've been together for almost two years, and quite frankly we were both surprised we even made this far. So what happened? Was it me being over protective? Was it our lack of communication skills? Was it me going off to live in another city? I know you by now to know that you're going to tell me that it wasn't my fault. But when I think about it more, I keep pressuring you and pushing you too much. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being paranoid and over protective. I'm sorry for wanting more than what you could have given me. I'm sorry for being so far away and not giving you the space you needed from me. And I'm sorry for being a distraction too. I'm sorry for being needy and for all of the little things I've done to annoy you. I wanted the best for us and I know at some point you did too. Looking back at our relationship, we never really fought or ever even broken up. I get that I can be over bearing but you already know what I've been through. I never have ever emotionally invested myself in someone like I did you. You were the first to actually be introduced to my Mom, and you already know that, that was a huge deal for me, for us. I can't say or do anything that is going to change your mind. I'm not going to beg for you to fall back in love with me or to even stay with me. We've found our way back to each other before and maybe we will again in the future. Only time will tell I guess. Before you go ahead and break my heart tonight, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for showing me light and happiness in the tragic and sadistic world we live in. Thank you for fixing the sad and broken girl I was before. Thank you for risking your friendships and taking another chance on me. Thank you for putting up with all of my crazy shit and allowing me to keep my pride. But most of all, thank you for standing up for me, fighting for me, and defending me.