This story that i tell you now would probably have various effects on you, and if you ARE reading this, please don't judge me. Actually, judge me! See if i care!
So this thing starts off- i better tell you the characters first, oops. The narrator is 'I' and the other characters are Me, Mee, Meee, Bob and God. No i am not being offensive to those who are religious and believe in God, just DON'T HURT ME! Ok, so this is how it goes...
I’m secretly dating Me, Mee and Meee at the same time! Not complicated at all. I was on a date with me at some restaurant when I saw Mee and Meee outside the window. I asked Me to please just take a moment, and slipped into the kitchen grabbed a knife and went out before I was seen. I jumped out of the window and stabbed both of them. Stab. Stab. And again for good measure. Stab. Stab. When I saw they weren’t breathing, I pulled them onto the road so it looked like they got irresponsibly hit by a truck. I turned back and saw me watching…I, and with quick reflexes I stabbed her in the head and in both eyes, because I thought that if i did that she wouldn’t be able to remember what she saw even if she died. Or just because I felt like it.
A year later…
I was walking in the park with Bob, my new 'person' and I saw Me, Mee and Meee walking straight at me. With knives. I was confused because I’m pretty sure they DIED. They ran at me and stabbed me. Like, stab, stab, stab, stab, stab! Stab…stab…stab. When I was in heaven, I saw God. Like literally, GOD. I was in heaven because I saw God’s face. And because I saw grandma taking a stroll. God said “You have greatly sinned. But eat Me’s, Mee’s and Meee’s remains and your sinned will be lifted.’
So I ate them.
God just sat there, surprised. ‘You ate their remains’
and I said with great respect ‘Well. DUH’
’uh…good’
’thanks’
’…AWKWARD~’
End of part 1.
