Her first, her last, her only

Chapter 5

Two days later Julia was sat in Bocconis having lunch with Abigail. It was the same restaurant they'd come to when waiting for the Judge to make his decision on her future and it seemed like a good omen to meet there. The maitre'D now recognised them and always seated them at a table in the back, where they could talk without being overheard.

Julia was quiet and thoughtful at lunch. Abigail sat watching her then dabbed water on her napkin and reached forward and rubbed at Julia's neck exposing the love-bite.

"Something or rather someone you want to tell me about?" she asked with a little smile.

Julia flushed. "How did you know it was there?" she asked, embarrassed.

"The foundation you used, it is so not a match for your skin tone."

"I bought it in a hurry and the woman at the counter said it was fine. I knew she was laughing at me." Julia was cross. She'd felt so humiliated going into the store to buy the concealer and the way the well groomed woman looked down her nose at her had made her want to disappear.

"So clearly you didn't give it to yourself so who is he?" Abigail's voice had lost the edge of humour and she was more serious. "Is it someone from University, one of the lecturers?" Her voice grew hard.

Julia shook her head.

"Have you had sex with him?"

Julia was taking a sip of her drink and choked and went even redder as she listened to Abigail. "God no!" she mumbled.

Julia missed Abigail's lips twitching slightly.

Seeing that Abigail wasn't going to give up Julia set her drink down. "He's nothing to do with University, someone I know from .... before." She looked up at Abigail, opening her mouth to speak only to have the waiter arrive with their starters. Julia took the distraction of food as the opportunity to ignore the very awkward conversation.

After their plates were cleared away Abigail sat and stared at Julia. The conversation was not going to go away.

"How do you know if you like someone? I mean not just like them as a person but you know, like them?" Julia wanted the ground to swallow her up as she fumbled for the words she wanted to use.

"Are you referring to physical attraction?"

Julia nodded.

"Did your mum not talk to you about this when you were younger?"

Julia shook her head. "She said they were all out for one thing and I should steer clear of them." She sighed and fiddled with her cutlery and carried in talking in a low voice.

"All through school I've been different. Apart from the first couple of years in primary school I've never studied with children of my own age. The older kids all ignored me as they hated being shown up by a smart younger kid, and by the time I was doing my GCSEs I was in high school aged 8. I sat in a classroom on my own at break time and had no one to talk to other then the teaching assistant who was always with me. I didn't have any friends at school and there weren't any kids around where we lived. Mum then met Tommy and we moved to be near him so I had to leave earlier for school.

All of a sudden I was doing my A levels and people were talking about Uni. I didn't want to go until Mum moved in with Tommy and then she said she was staying with him in London and not coming with me."

Silent tears ran down Julia's cheeks. She'd felt so alone when her mum chose to stay with Tommy instead of taking the new life that moving to Oxford offered.

"She loved him more than me." She hiccuped grabbing the tissue that appeared under her nose and blowing hard. It took several minutes for her tears to stop and she sat twisting the soggy tissue in her hands.