Snippets Of Life

love at first sight

I didn't believe it, the noble and much curious notion of "love at first sight".
Didn't really have any reason why I should have even considered its possibility in real life since I'm this(I think pretty weird) girl who hasn't tasted any sort of mainstream romanticism yet, although she is almost touching the age of 19 after a few months! Crazy I know! But that's quite common in conservative Asian countries. Our valor lies in our abilities to study our backs off and apparently become ideal human calculators! Anyhow, jokes apart, breaking my misconception that a love so heart churning wasn't possible at first sight, my babai came into my life. I call him "babai" which means "baba" or father in bangla, only babai is the modified form to make it sound even cuter.

I'm an aunt to lots of nieces and nephews, have been for a long time, starting from the time I was a mere kid since I had quite a handful of older cousins. These creatures, my cousins' babies, they were...well just my "cousins' babies" and playthings to say the most. Never had I ever experienced any sort of emotional attachment to these parasitic little creations(I know right?!) other than the fact that I loved holding their soft fingers and making them laugh with my ever-so-weird,but pretty hilarious gesture-postures. I was just another clueless "mashi" or "pishi" who didn't even bother to give a damn...

I guess its the age and its time's illusion. I guess as I'm much more matured now, seeing this bundle of joy stirred my feelings up way too hard inside. Or was it babai's magical eyes? Was it those glimmering eyes filled with mystery, naievty and utter purity, with which he gave me looks that could melt even the coldest of the hearts? Was it him? Or was it me? Perhaps I'll never know...

The moment I set my eyes on this kid, I knew I'd surely felt a thump in my heart. It was this sudden realisation, this feeling of "burning with joy" and this foreign ticklish sensation in my gut- all these screamed:-" you're in love" ...This little human being, with the most enchanting smile at the corner of his toothless mouth had me wrapped around his fingers. This little alive and breathing cartoon with his needless blinking of eyes and dancing of eyebrows had me falling hard for him. I knew, in a matter of split seconds, that I could give my life for this baby, that I could do anything for this baby, that he has always been a part of my life although I'd only met him today!

As I held him in my arms, the closer contact to this mystical being only amplified my love-struckness. He was just looking at me with his ever so enticing inquisitive eyes, perhaps wondering things he can't yet blabber out, or perhaps just being plainly clueless, because, wait a second,he's just a baby after all! Haha! He went on to make these funny sqeals and inanimate expressions which I couldn't make any sense of, but which only added to his maddening handsomeness. It was addictive! What was he doing to me? I had never felt like this ever before! Was it what motherhood felt like? Had I really grown up so much that a baby now provokes the inner mother in me? Or maybe it was the fact that this was my own sister's baby. Yea, it could be that! That's how close it is? This bond? I had only heard before, but never got the opportunity to test it out as they say -"Right after Mum, comes Mashi(aunt as in mother's sister)"

Was it that attachment? Does the term "relation of blood" really affect our relations? Was I so passionately in love with him only beacause he was my sister's kid and hence I had a sort of right over him? Or was he just extra special with his charms? A Wizard?!
To my babai...
" Everytime you look at me,
I cannot describe what I feel
Without you my darling baby
Who'd call me Joyee-mummy?"

Perhaps my babai helped me get a slight idea of what unconditional love feels like. I'm pretty sure I'll never fall in love at first sight with a grown adult ever, but I sure as hell believe it exists. Motherhood perhaps is the exception...I fell in love indeed!