I Just Want You

History

           

Why is history made out to be so separate? Cleopatra running the Egyptian empire is closer to present time than it was to when the pyramids were built. As well as that Warner Bros Entertainment was founded several months before the fall of the Ottoman Empire. Call me crazy, but if these things were taught students would be able to make sense of historical timelines better.

History is thought to repeat itself, until people learn from the mistakes of the past. Maybe that is why America today can be so easily compared to pre-WWII Germany, we like to think we are better and have learned from our mistakes. But have we? Even on a smaller level I sit here and realize that I maybe shouldn't have stubbornly went to the tattoo parlor and got my nose pierced again after the problems that arose.

If we, as humans, didn't make mistakes and didn't do do-overs, where would we be now?

Historical existential crisis,

Phoebe

Shutting my notebook, and clipping my pen on the cover is probably one of the most satisfying things I have experienced. It is a tangible feeling of accomplishment, I have done something. And that something is good, no matter the content of the pages. Regardless of my personal feelings on the matter, it was my secret haven exclusively for my eyes. Ever since earlier this morning when River was able to get a glimpse of the pages my heart has had random palpations of fear. The most absurd thoughts had arose that maybe I would be called down to the principal's office for my inappropriate thoughts. I didn't fit the status quo of what constituted normal when it came to my writing ramblings, and on some pages more erotic images were painted than the rest.

I do not think I would be able to live down the absolute embarrassment if River had been able to read or see any of the pages featuring erotic topics. Not only because it was my notebook, but because they featured me. Specifically, my very own body and thoughts on it's imperfections. He would be so easily able to capitalize on my weakness and destroy everything left of me.

After the fiasco of this morning, when the first bell rang and people rushed to greet him and take photos with him I quietly and quickly disappeared. The loud chatter and frenzy of people overwhelmed me and I knew instantly I had to get out of there. I speed walked down a side hall, and made my way to the office to explain that I was there and missed my ride. The secretary seemed to see my frazzled state and took pity on me, and gracefully whispered that I didn't have to worry about detention. As I stepped out of the office, I exhaled and physically felt some of the stress and confusion leave my body. Making my way to my 2nd period, trying to make sense of the morning thus far. However, everything always went back to who exactly River was.

His name seemed vaguely familiar, but the only Thompson's I knew of had moved out of town when I was in elementary school. My childhood best friend, Allison, was the only daughter of the family and my only friend at the time. Her leaving made the next few years especially difficult because she was one of the only person who truly understood me. I put the reasoning behind that we had similar thought processes, and she didn't think I was weird. As any good best friend would do naturally. Sadly, we weren't able to keep in touch. Her family had moved several times and along the way I lost her address to write to her. I still had the letters we had wrote back and forth in my memory box underneath my bed.

Thinking about Allison, made me wonder about her older siblings. I know that our parents had been friends and made it easy for the kids to be friends. My mom was an overall go getter and was very well known in the community. She was the dream mom, doing fundraisers and taking the kids to sports. Her best friend was the same one since her college days. They had been separated for a few years after graduation and ran into each other at a fundraiser for the school. I just remember my mom sobbing hysterically and hiding in the most obscure place since everyone was looking at me. It has been so long since I had thought about my younger days faces are a bit fuzzy. But I do I distinctly remember one of her older brothers being there and being what I considered at the time much older. His face was fuzzy, but I remember someone coming over to where I was standing in the shadows and holding my hand whispering "It's okay, no one is looking anymore" into my hair. Just a vague feeling of comfort comes to mind.