Need the Sun to Break

.001

"Jack, man, wake the hell up!" I jump as my roommate and best friend, Gundy, yells at me from the now open doorway. "Dude, get ready. We're all going out tonight."

"Who's we?" I sleepily ask from under the haven of my many covers, fully intending on staying put regardless of the answer to my question.

"Me, Tom, Lucas, Jimmy, and you. Boys night, lets go!"

I have to admire his ambition a little. Gundy knows full well the kind of week I've just been through, yet he still put the invitation out as if this were any other Friday night. I have to respect his unflappable optimism and readiness for adventure at a moment's notice. In the world of Steven Gunderson, there is never a night that isn't perfect for a "boys night" – rowdy partying, drunken mistakes and all. I, on the other hand, could use a break once in a while, and tonight is most definitely one of those nights.

"Gundy, c'mon. I only got in a few hours ago and this past week has been utter hell. I'm a zombie right now, you don't want me out with you guys," I speak as I say a silent prayer that he'll leave me alone.

No luck there. "Listen, J, I know this week at home has sucked for you. And I know that we don't usually talk about these things, but your situation really is unfair and I'm sorry you've had to deal with it. But the best way to forget about the divorce for now would be to come out tonight! C'mon, Jack. It could be like old times. It doesn't have to be a whole big thing tonight either, we'll just keep it low-key. Please, man. You deserve to have some fun too."

Maybe it's my utter lack of sleep, but for some reason, what Gundy says really touches me. He's never been the best with words, especially in delicate situations, but I have to hand it to him – the boy can recognize when I'm hurting. I've been kind of a stressed out wreck recently as I've been dealing with a lot of family issues, but they all came to a nasty head over this past week.

My parents are getting a divorce. Or attempting to get a divorce I should say. They've wanted to separate for over a year now, but both are too stubborn to leave the house, only prolonging this whole horrid situation for my siblings and myself. For this entire past year, I've been stuck in the middle of my parents, both of whom wholly blame the other for the deterioration of their marriage. Although I'm not the oldest, I am the only McCauley child who seems to give enough of a shit to stick around and take care of my two youngest sisters.

Both my older brother and my older sister, twins who just turned 25, were never really ones to stay close to home. When my parents announced their divorce, though, they both skipped clear out of our home state of Michigan, having already started their own independent lives. With the twins out of the picture and my parents being too preoccupied with their own problems, no one seems to be around to pay sufficient attention to my sisters, 17-year-old Fiona and 15-year-old Julia.

I know they are old enough to take care of themselves for the most part, and honestly us McCauley's have always been fiercely independent people, but with the divorce looming ahead and the threat of two new households to sustain, money is tight. And I'm the only one who seems to notice. Having already been through college, the twins don't care – they're already established adults with their own set of problems to deal with. But I'm only a junior in college and Jul and Fi are both still in high school and I'm way too responsible to just ignore the fiscal storm clouds that loom so evidently ahead.

The week started out with me intending to sit down with both of my parents and talk to them openly and honestly about the financial concerns I have. I knew going in that this wasn't my place since I am still their child after all, but I simply can't trust that my parents are handling the finances correctly given all of the other preoccupations they've had to deal with in the past year.