--A Random Thought--
The sun had just set as I carry my four days worth of clothes on my back. People walking pass me as they hurry back home or visit a loved one across the sea. I didn’t mind the crowd or the busy chitchat around me. It was an ordinary day, despite the fact that I was on my way home from work, a few hours away from the city I grew up in.
It was my first time to ride a ferry on my own. And I was a bit nervous when I got to the docks. The last time I was here was when I was with friends, just tagging along, going and doing whatever they did. Not knowing or caring why I did them. Now that I’m on my own, I didn’t know what to do. But since I don’t have any other choice but to trust my instincts, I followed my guts.
I wore my bag around one shoulder – the only backpack I bought away from my home town – and tried to remember how I got home from the last time I was here. I observed people and the directions they were headed and followed. Dead ahead, I noticed people lining up in front of a door and an attendant directing people what to do and where to go, and since I wasn’t familiar with the routine, I had to ask the attendant if this door was the right entrance for me to get to my destination. He said yes and ushered me in. I placed my bag to the roller where the security can check the bags using X-ray and walked through the metal detector. When I passed the metal detector one of the guards checked my body for hidden weapons and I understood the routine. So, I raised my arms, elbows bent slightly as to not look like I was raising my arms like a student wanting to ask the teacher a question. As soon as the guard reached my hip, she asked what I had on my belt and its purpose. I was kind of surprised at first then I realized it was part of the routine checkup the do to insure that everyone is safe while in their vessel. I told them it was a container for my cigarette and showed her its contents just to satisfy her curiosity and went on my way. As I got to the docks, I saw three ships, one of which looked like it was built for long travels. So I went back to the security room and asked the guard which boat I was supposed to ride to get to my destination.
“The one on right” she said in an impatient tone. And since that boat was the only one on the right, I just trusted my feeling and climbed aboard.
As I reached the stairs, I started to feel uneasy. Afraid that I went on the wrong boat and end up some place I don’t know. I listened to peoples conversation hoping one of them would say anything about a place I’ll surly pass on the way home. And to my satisfaction, I got my confirmation that I was on the right boat. A settled down on a seat on the left side of the ferry and waited for it to depart. I chose that area just because there was a trash bin near the seat and I didn’t want people to experience secondhand smoking. I pulled out the pack of cigarettes I bought the night before, took out a stick and puffed my way to an early death.
A couple minutes passed and the ferry still hasn’t moved. I checked my phone for the time and waited some more, hoping it would depart soon. You can’t blame me, I so wanted to go home as soon as possible
As I waited, a young lady passed by and got my attention. She was cute, appealing, and very attractive. She wore a white blouse, Very short shorts and sneakers to match and a small bag that indicates that she already has clothes waiting for her at her destination. Damn! She was really attractive – to me, at least. I noticed she stood behind an elderly woman who seemed too old to be walking about on her own, waiting in line for the comfort room, I imagine. Then I started to think of Cloey. The only girl I really wanted to be with. To tell you honestly, I’m and old-fashioned guy – the kind of guy that never cheats, or gets really guilty after saying a white lie. So I kept my word to myself and just thought of her and her alone. Then a though just occurred – a memory, more like, where I heard people, Including my friends, talk about the girls they’ve been with after asking for their numbers: some jumping from one girl to another while others see two girls, if not more, at the same time. I got really curious.
At that moment I wanted to know how it feels like to actually ask a complete stranger’s number: Contemplating on the words I should use to start things up and how she’d react to each one; when or where I should approach her; whether I should tap her on her back to get her attention or just simple say “Excuse me” and what phrase I can continue that with. And at the same time, I glanced at her occasionally just to make sure she was still there.
Ugh! It’s so complicated. I can’t believe my friends do this every now and again, I thought. How on earth do they think of ways to get the girl’s attention?
So I waited and waited while I was trying to figure out the proper approach. As soon as I got my answer, I was too late. She was no longer in the line nor did she come out the comfort room a couple minutes after. I wished that she just took her time inside and was almost ready to go out. But as soon as the ferry started to move away from the docks, all hope was gone. It was fine, though. It’s wasn’t like I’d really do it. Hell no! I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t. What kind of guy would that make me?
In time, she was lost in my mind. I played with the strap of my bag as I started to worry again. Thinking of the possible tragedies that awaits. Will the ferry sink just as soon as we reach halfway? Will I ride the right tricycle when I get to the port? Will I be able to reach the bus terminal on time and ride the correct bus? All these thoughts troubled me as the lights grew smaller and smaller through the distance. I, an innocent person, alone in this floating coffing.... thinking of death.
