Not His Man

Chuchu 3

Wynette de Lamartine

I'm here at my room, nakahiga lang. Kakatapos ko lang gawin ang mga natitirang paperworks ko for this week. Plano ko kasing magbakasyon. Well, isasama ko sana si Dmitri but I'm aware he's in a relationship with a man named Sebastian Ludwig, that surname is a bit familiar. Saan ko nga ba iyon narinig? Ipinilig ko ang aking ulo sa pagalala nun but it just made my blood boil so much. Lalo na kanina, they're talking on the phone. I already knew it's their monthsary today, but I rather want Dmitri for myself only. But, nung nakita ko siyang sobrang nagaalala, it made my heart sank. I hate it so, I let him go just this once. 

I walked in front of my big mirror na kita ako head to toe. I looked at myself. Nakakainis. Anong meron sa lalaking yun na wala ako? Why can't he just recognize me as a woman? Did that Sebastian have big boobs like mine? Oh sure as hell, he's plain.

I have the right muscles on the right places. I'm voluptuous and tall and mighty. I have the name and the wealth but why can't he just look at me for once.

Umupo na ko sa kama and looked at his picture on my cellphone. Mga stolen shot ko yun sa kanya. I sighed. It's been a month since I last saw him on a bar, drinking like a madman. I don't have any interest on man but when I saw him for the first time, it felt like, I know him all my life. So, I went near him and offer my help. And that's the time, I made him my own butler.

I never imagined he turned out to be a gay. Well, at first, hindi ko pa halata but when I'm with him in a month, unti unti kong nakikita ang pagbabalat-kayo niya. Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit kailangan niya pang itago sa harap ko ang pagkatao niya. Its not as if, I will judge him. I will never. And, I consider LGBT family equally as other humankind and I'm not against them. So, I decided to have some background check about him.

At doon ko nalamang pinalayas pala siya ng tatay niya. That old Lewis. Tsk. Kung pwede ko lang sanang gantihan ang ama niya, ginawa ko na but, I don't want to risk it, that family is the number one enemy of our company. If I start a fire, it will burst out. Magkakasakitan lang. But somehow, may araw din ang matandang yun sakin!

Pasalampak akong humiga sa kama. I stared at the ceiling. Haist. Napapikit ako habang inaalala ang usapan namin ni dad last time.

"What?" Napasigaw ako sa gulat. Who wouldn't? Ikaw kayang ipakasal sa taong kinamumuhian mo, I'm sure as hell, you rather die.

"Don't shout at me, young lady. You'll be marrying Zacharias Stephenson and that's final." My dad said habang nakapamulsang tumalikod. Pumunta agad ako sa harap niya to make him stop.

"No dad, I won't do it. I rather die, keysa makasama ang lalaking yun!" I said at hinawakan niya ko ng mariin sa braso. I shrugged it off but I cant.

"I'll take no as an answer. You will marry him or just live without the influence of your name. Choose. " Dad said sternly. He looked at me as if showing his authority on me.

Without the influence of being de Lamartine, eh? That just means, I'll live as a normal person who's striving hard to live everyday. I just can't do that. I can't. Pero, ayoko ding magpasakal sa isang relasyong ayoko! I want freedom.

Umiwas ako ng tingin at tsakanpa niluwagan ni dad ang kapit sa braso ko. I step away habang hindi pa rin siya tinitingnan sa mukha. Hindi ko kaya, natatakot ako sa kanya. He's a beast. I'm an offspring of a monster.

"I'll give you a week para pagisipan ang proposal ko." He said at napatingin agad ako sakanya. I can't believe him.

I looked at him angrily. "You're unbelievable dad. Kaya, hindi na ko nagtaka pa kung bakit ka iniwan ni mommy!"