Coffee Time Slurps

#Unsaid Goodbyes

And you know what scares me the most?

Unsaid goodbyes.

I remember I was young then. Maybe ten or eleven, not sure. Being a socially awkward person or simply a typical introvert, it was no wonder for me that I had only two friends and those too, in school. I had nobody in my colony with whom I could play or talk (yes, introverts do talk but it's a matter of choice) with. And therefore, when all the children ran back home after school, I took my time. I never liked going back.

However, no sooner did the clock strike five, I got anxious for going out to play. I always wanted to be a part of that group of kids who played amazing games in the park but all I could do was watch them from a corner because..well, introverts will understand. It was only after a few months when I got really depressed and decided to stop going out when I found him.

He was the rain to my dying desert of childhood. I was just wondering about what I would do if not stare at those children when he came and sat next to me. It was kinda awkward at first but as I had no friends, I did what was best for me. I got up and walked away (if you were thinking I talked to him, i'm an introvert, remember?).

"Why are you following me? Just go!" I mumbled, striding out of the park.

Awkwardly enough, he followed me. I asked him to leave, in fact, I shouted at him but it made no difference. It was then when, for the very first time, i felt that somebody was actually interested to be with me. Being the innocent kid I was, I gave in to his persistence and finally had a friend to spend time with. In no time, he became my best friend. Why not, he was all I had. Wherever I went to park, he came along. He was my precious gem and I always kept him safe. If, even for a second, he disappeared, I started to think all sorts of stuff and could only breathe after having a glimpse of him. He was a part of me.

"Mom, see who has come with me?" I chimed as I entered my home and he followed me. Strangely enough, my whole family adored him and loved him. He became a part of my family too.

Only my grandma didn't like him.

"Why him? You could find someone better? Why did you bring him home? I don't like him a bit." She twisted her nose.

"Relax! One day she will like him too." My mom cheered me when I was  sullen.

He was special.

It was through him that I became friends with those kids I used to look at every evening. I was amazed by the swiftness and comfort with which he went to them. I could never do that. Well. They were all good and sweet. I had never been with so many people but to my surprise, it wasn't scary. They accepted me with my bag full of awkwardness and it made me feel special. Gradually, I started to spend more time with them than with him. To be honest, I completely forgot about him. He made so many efforts but I always shooed him away. However, he never complained. He'd still come to me with the same heart full of pure love. I guess that was the problem. I knew that he'd be there, no matter what and maybe that's why, I always made him wait. Every time, I went outside to play, I'd find him waiting for me and I would somehow manage to keep him waiting.

One day, he wasn't there. Maybe he waited for too long. When he didn't come for the entire day, I knew he had left. I thought I'd be okay without him because all this time, I didn't bother about him so why would I now? But I was wrong. I realised that his presence made all the difference for there are some people, you don't spend time with everyday but just knowing that they're there, gives comfort and strength. The irony is, when he stopped caring, I started to. I missed him a lot. My eyes would always search for him. I knew I had hurt him. I just wanted to see him once and know if he was alright. I wanted to say sorry. I wanted to thank him. I wanted to fix things. But he was gone. No goodbye, no nothing. I made him wait for too long.

"Please come back. Please! I promise I will play with you only." I cried sitting on the bench, waiting for him but he never came up. Maybe because he had given up on me. Maybe he learnt that I was taking him granted.

Years waded away but he never came. I hoped for him to stay fit and healthy wherever he was but the truth is, I miss him. I miss him so much. I now realise that he was everything of mine in my childhood. I had a netter childhood because of him. He made it memorable.

Even today, when I see a wagging tail, a white body with brown spots and eyes reflecting pure love, I wish it's my friend. I wish i could say goodbye to him because you know what scares me the most. Goodbyes, unsaid goodbyes.

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A pure dedication to all the living animals of the world. Specially Puppies. Yes, I am being biased but what to do? I loved my Melfuoy so much. He was a cute loving golden retriever. :'( Yes. Was.