Don't Let Me Remember

Chapter 6: Down The Rabbit Hole We Go, Alice

I go home and do my own research. I'm no scientist and I'm not a big researcher, however when it comes to something I'm excited about (or in this case, worried about) I can research like the best of them. I call my dealer.

"Zack, hey man. Can you meet me tonight?"

I hear a slight pause on the other end of the line, along with an audible and exaggerated nasal inhale. "I don't have any of what you want, but I can get something for your breathing if you wanna try."

Cocaine, for those that aren't entirely sure what that means, something for your breathing is cocaine so if someone undercover ever gets wind of it, we can show them Mucinex and say we had this. I personally don't do that. I'm a pill junkie and an alcoholic blend.

"I don't need any of my regular. I have plenty. I need to talk to you, something I don't wanna do on the phone because I need something like a friend."

"Aw bud, of course. Meet me at Cornerstore Liquor's. Can I ask what it is about?"

"A girl." I hang up as I pop an X and wash it away with a bit of Jack. I grab a thin jacket and the keys to old Faithful to be on my way.

I watch my headlights flood the concrete wall where Zack stands under the small porch, if you'd call it that. A cigarette luminates as he drags off it and puffs a cloud of white smoke into the air. I turn the truck off and climb out.

I walk up to the heavier built but shorter version of me. He has blonde hair and a thick goatee that's more his natural brown hair color than the fake blonde on top with the eyes as deep as a sunken ship.

"I thought you were gonna lay off the meth Zack?"

"Every once in a while I like to test out others products, you know I'm a connoisseur." He says like it's as legal as wine.

I light my full flavored cigarette and lean on the wall beside him, letting my breath out slow to fully enjoy the taste.

"Alright, here's the deal. I met this girl at the bar downtown, where we went as kids right?"

"Yeah I remember. What about her?"

"She knew everything. She knew you sell me my supply and she knew about Julia, my full name, where I worked, everything."

Zack thinks for a minute, kind of worried. "She knew I sold to you?"

"Yeah. She even knew where I went to school and when I dropped out."

His sunken eyes get the size of ripe grapes as he puts two and two together.

"What's her name?" His almost toothless mouth spurts out.

"Amber. That's all I know."

"Oh!" Zack seems relieved. "Yeah Amber. She's my new old mans kid."

I'm kind of struck by this. "Excuse me? She's Goldilocks step child?" Goldilocks is our nickname for Zack's mom. Her hair turned grey after being blonde for 20 years because I'm sure we aged her well over 80 more years.

"Yep. She's dating Bucky. You know. The principal down at Hicken Middle."

It's at this moment I finish the last quarter of my cigarette in one big drag and throw the butt to the ground. I remember Mr. Pep as we called him. He never had a good mood in him when we were in school down there, but that was some ten years ago. I can't believe he's still there, being his old peppy self.

"Mr. Pep. He loved our pep rally's."

Zack and I share a laugh together, reminiscing on times when the middle school would have pep rally's for the football and basketball seasons, how he would always try to dampen the mood by yelling "settle down" to a bunch of hormone filled teenagers. I remember sitting by Julia at quite a few of these.