The noise. - trigger warning [one-shot]

[1]

For the first time in her fairly short life, Hayley felt calm, as though she could breathe again. Tentatively, she twisted the tap slowly, just so the water sprouted out the bottom like a flower. But not too loud, just loud enough to drown out her own thoughts. Breathing softly, she delicately pressed the light-switch so not to wake anyone up until darkness flooded the room. She didn't like the dark, it consumed her too much. A sharp chill went down her spine before she picked up the lighter and a rose-scented candle; she carefully pushed down the button until the bright light was before her amber eyes. For a few moments, she forgot she even had the lighter still on despite the candle already being lit. The flame was dancing delicately to the soft sounds of the birds in the many oak trees singing a lullaby. Normally she didn't notice the quiet sounds outside rather than the loud, obnoxious cars that sped past at night. Something felt different inside her, like she was trapped, but with each sway of the candle she was breaking through the cold metal bars - she was reaching peace, something she thought she would never find. 

Then her thoughts came back for her.

All of a sudden, a large gust of wind violently blew the once soft candles out, some falling into the water, crashing as they did so. Everything was blurry around her, her vision impared. She could feel her mind controlling her, her every move. She knew it was too late. It knew she was trying to escape her prison cell, which she put herself in. She had trapped herself, believing she was guilty. Guilty of feeling. She thought she could finally escape, but it kept coming back for her, over and over again. The warden was her mind, and there was no passing it. She was locked up eternally, for love. The bath water ran cold, but she didn't care; the noise was unbearable. What was once so quiet, so peaceful, had become an angry chorus of screams in her mind. Or were they reality? She was too buzzed out to tell the difference anymore. She found her mind safe, until she ventured too deep and got caught in the web. This was how it was going to end. With a sharp tug of her short, black hair, she was dragged along the corridor. She glared at each cell she passed, 'memories' 'love' 'her'. Her. The words echoed, till they got too unbearable, she wanted silence, never to hear those words again: memories, love, her. Louder and louder, she clasped her hands over her ears as the piercing words flooded into her thoughts once again, 'you thought you could love?' 'you never had a hope.' 'just die' 

Just die!

She faded to nothing, letting the darkness she was once so afraid of consume her, this time entirely. She had lost, and her worst enemy was always herself. She submerged under the cold water until she was numb, and desperately spluttered out her four final words. 

'I will always love you, C.'

She was at peace.