Confessions of an LGBTQ+

Story #9

"My own coming out story is a little different than normal. I didn’t really come out of the closet, my Mum dragged me out of it. I had woken up after a night out and my Mum spotted a mark on my neck which was a love bite and asked me what it was, and my mind went into overload trying to think of what to say.

I was stuttering trying to buy time to think of a plausible explanation but the game was up when she said she knew what it was, then she asked if it was from a girl or a boy?

I sheepishly said it was from a boy, and she just looked at me, she thought I was just going through a phase, which I guess a lot of parents say when they find out their child is gay.

With me it was hardly a phase; if you looked around my room you could see I was gay, as I have posters of The Spice Girls, Celine Dion, Girls Aloud & Britney Spears plastered all over my bedroom.

My Dad took it fine, he seemed to take it better than my Mum did which surprised me, he said he had always had a feeling with all the stuff I am into which made me laugh.

That happened last July (2008) and since they've found out I was gay it’s lifted a huge weight off me, even though my Mum backed me into a corner with it. I think it was better because I don’t think I would’ve had the courage to sit down with them and tell them I was gay.

I’ve always known I was different even from an early age. When I was 6 years old and the Spice Girls first came out I just became obsessed with them, and wanted to be the sixth girl and would play the Spice Girls with four other girls at break-times and lunchtimes at school.

I would always be Melanie C, but if you asked me now I would have to be Victoria of course. I have had the same level of obsession with Celine Dion and Britney Spears from an early age too.

I first realised I was gay when I was about 14 and I developed a crush on one of the PE teachers at school.

When I was 18 and was hanging around with two straight guys, I tried to deny to myself that I was gay and would try and pretend I was straight, and if you know me then you’ll know how hard that would be, but when an old school friend took me out for the very first time in Manchester's Gay village, it was really liberating not to have to pretend to be something I wasn’t and that night I had my first gay kiss albeit a drunken one.

Since being out for the past year I have learnt a lot, and been through a lot, but wouldn’t have got to the place I am now without my best friend."