He loved me. He really loved me. I know he loved me because he told me everyday. He didn't always tell me with words, but usually with gestures. Gestures like making sure I was okay when everyone knew I wasn't. Gestures like talking to me when nobody else would. Gestures like making me laugh when I was (literally) in the midst of a hurricane - like crying session. Gestures like these let me know he loved me. But I didn't believe it. I thought of myself as an "Unlovable Soul" as I called myself. I felt that since I was unloved, I could never be loved. Much like the Atlantic Ocean: it was not possible, not conceivable, not imaginable to swim across the Atlantic Ocean without extra equipment, (in my case, strings attached) until one day when someone decided to do so, much against societies thoughts, and swam across the Atlantic Ocean without equipment, because the Atlantic is merely a group of molecules placed systematically together, as land, but instead in the state of matter called "Liquid" or "Love". I wish this phenomenon had donned upon me sooner, but whatever. As John Green says, " Pain demands to be felt". I did not feel the pain then. I feel the pain now. I feel the pain now because I realize the God sent gift I took for granted. I feel the pain now because I realized something too late. Much too late. Late enough that he forgot about me and found another (beautiful) girl to adore with his chocolate fountain eyes. Late enough to think that if I had taken advantage if the glorious opportunity that few are tempted with, and listen to my instincts, maybe I wouldn't have to worry about another pretty girl. Late enough that maybe, just maybe, that he could still love me. To quote Drake, " Last night (not literally) I came to a realization and I hope you can take it..." All this time, I've felt something towards him that I could not put into words...up until recently. I never accepted his kindness as a gift, I just thought of it as how he treated everybody. So now that it's much too late, and I have no more of his kindness to accept or decline, I've realized how I feel about him. I love him. I really love him. I love him because he first loved me.
