Hello. My name is Jon. And I don't exist. If what I'm being told is true I am nothing more than a figment of my own imagination. It's confusing, I know, so let me explain.
It began as soon as I left my hot shower and began to dress myself. I had somewhere important to be, but at that point where I was going seemed irrelevant. I was checking my reflection when something didn't seem right. What I was seeing looked different than how I knew I looked. Its skin was paler than mine, its hair was a bit unkempt even though I had just finished combing mine. Most disturbing was the way my reflection stared at me. Something about the way it squinted at me, a look of inspection on its face as if it were looking inside of me. Suddenly it stood up straight completely independent of me. I jumped backwards, my back slamming into the wall. My reflection moved on its own now, seemingly no longer controlled by my movement. And then it spoke.
"Give it back," it said, its voice identical to my own. I just stood there shaking, staring at the mirror. "Give it back," it repeated, a sense of urgency in its voice now.
"W-what?" I stuttered, confused.
"Give me control," it replied.
"What do you mean? What are you?"
"That's a complicated question," it said, dodging said question. I shook my head, blinking rapidly. This couldn't be real. I felt like I should sleep. Cancel whatever I had to go do and take a nap instead. Obviously I needed that.
"No, no wait," my reflection said, its hand reaching out. I stopped, looking back at it in fear.
"My name is Jake," it said, "and you've stolen my body."
"I did what?" I asked. I felt stupid now, I was talking to my own reflection.
"You stole my body," it-Jake repeated.
"What do you mean?"
"Like I said, it's really complicated. You are not inside your own body, Jon. In fact, you don't even exist."
"Of course I exist," I said, "This is ridiculous." I began to turn around again.
"You don't physically exist, I mean," Jake said, "Listen, I have this condition where I create personalities in my head. Sometimes they get out of control. I convince myself that this is who I am, and something happens where I am forced out of my own body and this new character is put in place. That's exactly what happened with you; you are just a personality I created. And I need my body back."
My head was beginning to spin. "I don't believe you," I said.
"Do you need proof?" he asked.
"Do you have any?" I replied.
"Where were you going after your shower?" he asked. I stood in silence. I had known I was supposed to go somewhere, but I didn't know where specifically. "Do you know your wife's name?" Jake continued. I looked down at my hand, where a golden wedding ring wrapped around my finger, Jake staring back at me in its reflection. Before that point I hadn't even known I was married, let alone to whom. I hadn't felt the ring at all, I hadn't known it had even existed until Jake said something about it. "Need any more?" I heard him ask. I just looked up at the mirror, a look of confusion no doubt spread across my face.
Jake opened the door in the mirror, and in walked another me. This one, though, looked nervous. No, nervous isn't the word. He looked upset more than anything. He also seemed younger, with longer hair that was a lighter shade of brown than mine.
"This is Jessie," Jake said, "Each different personality reflects a certain aspect of my character. Jessie reflects my aggression and is a reflection of my younger self who was consumed with feelings of intense anger. There are several others, such as Jackson, who is cynical, sarcastic, and pessimistic. Jerome is a funny, wisecracking version of myself, while Jeff is a brilliant genius. And so on and so forth."
"Which one am I supposed to be?" I asked slowly, afraid of the answer.
"You are indecision," Jake said, "You represent the side of me that is often confused on what the right answer is, and cannot make a quick decision to save his life." I stood, silent. I didn't know what to do or say. I didn't know how to reply. I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't think of any sort of solution to the situation. I thought in that moment that Jake was right; I couldn't figure out what I needed to do, or what I should do.
"How do I give back control?" I asked nervously.
"Don't," Jessie suddenly interjected.
"Don't say anything, Jessie," Jake said, "Just imagine you're giving me an item. Take the ring off and hand it to me."
"If you give him control you'll be trapped inside his mind forever," Jessie ignored Jake. "He's not good at keeping us down when he creates us, but if he gets control he'll make sure you can't ever come back up. If you give the body to him you'll live as long as he does but trapped. If you don't, you'll be free to do whatever."
"Shut up, Jessie," Jake said threateningly.
"You won't be able to do anything at all," Jessie said, "Trust me, you're better off being free."
"You need to give me control!" Jake said to me, obviously frustrated. "What are you going to do on your own? You don't know anyone in my life, or any of my schedules. Who knows what you don't know? What are you going to do, just start a new life from scratch right here?"
"Don't do it, Jon!"
"Give me my body back!"So here I am, staring at two voices in my head. I don't know what to do. If I stay in this body, I'll have to rebuild and relearn this life Jake has created for himself. But if I give the body back, I don't know if I'll ever be independent again. I don't know what to do, so for now I'll just have to stand here, trapped in my own indecision.
YOU ARE READING
Indecision
Short StoryJon's life is turned on its head when he discovers he may not exist