DOUCHE → JWW

nine

Sohye was not depressed- she couldn't have been depressed because Mingyu made her so happy. However, when Mingyu wasn't there, Sohye couldn't bear it. Maybe it was because she felt alone, or maybe it was because she couldn't help but think about Jeon Wonwoo, but Sohye didn't like it when Mingyu wasn't home.

Mingyu had to go back and forth from their apartment to his family's house because of the reoccurring problem at home, so Sohye was either immensely happy because Mingyu just made her feel that way, or she felt alone and abandoned. It wasn't Mingyu's fault that she felt abandoned- Sohye just didn't like being along because it made her feel guilty. Sohye felt like she was alone more often than she was with Mingyu, but she reassured herself that it was okay because she knew Mingyu loved her; Mingyu told her he loved her every single chance he could get.

The main reason why Sohye was just so afraid and upset to be alone was because she was nervous that Wonwoo would come to her apartment out of nowhere and beg for forgiveness- Wonwoo was capable of doing just that, so Sohye had every right to be nervous. She was especially nervous that if he did come, she would take him back. Sohye hated these feelings, but she couldn't help but have them; she hated herself for it.

It was cloudy and upset outside one night that Mingyu had to stay at his family's house. Sohye was left alone in her apartment. She turned on the fire place and sat by the fire while directing her attention to the wood tiling on the floor. Her mind was blank as she just let her eyes trail along the pattern of the floor. She could feel herself start to fall asleep, and she would've fell asleep, too, had it not been for the sudden rapping on her front door. She pushed herself off the recliner she was sitting in, smoothed down her sweater, and opened the door to see Wonwoo.

"Wonwoo," she breathed out- oh, how she wished it was not Wonwoo and it was Mingyu.

"Sohye, listen," Wonwoo leaned onto the door so that Sohye couldn't close it.

"I don't want to, Wonwoo," Sohye whispered; she was close to tears.

Wonwoo, despite the fact he looked miserable, still made Sohye feel butterflies in her stomach. She missed his face, she longed for his touch, and she still loved him. She had to suppress the feelings, though, because it was Mingyu she truly loved, not Wonwoo. She looked away and rubbed the sides of her arms. Wonwoo grabbed her shoulders lightly and turned her so that she was forced to look at him.

"Sohye, I'm," Wonwoo cleared his throat; he looked like he was on the verge of tears as well. "I'm really sorry. I really miss you."

Sohye closed her eyes. She didn't want to hear that from him. She opened her eyes again and looked at Wonwoo. He let go of her and sank to the ground, his knees hitting the pavement lightly as he pressed his palms together and looked up at her.

"I really did mean to only be with you and," he trailed off as a tear rolled down his face. "I love you."

He buried his face in his palms as Sohye looked away; she didn't want to cry. She could feel herself about to cry, but she simply could not allow herself to cry in front of this boy that took her heart and shattered it to a thousand pieces more than once. She shook her head and said, "I'm sorry, Wonwoo."

She carefully closed the door and left Wonwoo kneeling in front of her apartment. Sohye looked up at her ceiling and crossed her arms over her chest before pressing her back against the door and sliding to the ground. Sohye burst into tears as she buried her head in her arms and thought about how much she really missed Wonwoo. Deep inside, Sohye wanted to take Wonwoo back, and deep inside, Sohye really still loved Wonwoo.