Motivation.

MikeySoAuge-The story of Josh.

The boy you see in the picture with the cat...is me...the writer...Hey!

So. My name is Micheal Richard Patrick Carnley. I'm 15 years old. And I was forced to mature faster than most people my age. I was abused at one by one of my moms ex boyfriends. My real father abandoned me. I have been bullied most of my life. Suicidal and Suicide attempts left and right...and RECENTLY diagnosed as "Clinically Depressed".

Yeah...it seems I have a horrible life...that I am depressed all the time...but I'm not...I find that "Diagnosis" bullshit...cause when something bad happens to me I try and find the light side. I try to find some way to be happy. I try to be optimistic...and yes sometimes it doesn't work...hence the suicide attempts.

But the worst years of my life was after my 9th or 10th birthday...

I was raped by my step-father Josh...then the following years I was physically and emotionally my abused...he made me want to die...he made me think I was worthless...and...I forgive him...and I still care for him.

"WHAT!?" You might be asking...yes I love and care for him after all the stuff he did...Because I pity him...let me tell you a story...

So one day a little boy was with his big sister, Ashley, and they were at the little boys friends house hanging out...and when it was time for them to leave...so Ashley called her boyfriend for a ride...he comes and picks them up...but he was drunk and he crashed the car...Ashley was dead...the little boy had to crawl over her dead body...as the little boy grew up...he was haunted by the image of Ashley...he felt like it was his fault...like he was responsible...so he drowned out those thoughts with alcohol...he drunk till he was shitfaced everday...then the boy...now a man...found a girl with a son...they got together and got married...but he was still an alcoholic...and The Little Boy was Josh...The Girl he married is my mom, Charlotte, I am the son.

Josh's alcoholism is tearing apart his marriage and family...and it turned him into a monster...

Why is this in my Motivation book?

Cause there is a lesson to this...

If you dwell on the past and let it control your actions...you let yourself go because of it...you blame yourself for something that wasn't in your control...you let bad thoughts haunt you...

YOU! Yes, You! WILL become a monster. You WILL tear your relationships apart. You WILL hurt people you love.

You will become Josh...