Dear John

Dear John,

She might be leaving you today. If not, perhaps tomorrow or the next day after, but soon. How do I know this? Because you forgot who she was then, who she is now and who she is becoming. You have been absent for some time. Oh, I'm not saying you don't occupy the same room together or the same bed. I'm not saying you haven't had sex with her.

I listened to her yesterday. She didn't know where to begin. I asked her to take a deep breath, I took her hand, I asked her to just pick a starting point and begin there. She talked and talked and talked and I heard every word, watched her as she became more and more animated as she spoke, I listened and I never felt the need to interrupt her. Did you know she was so creative - a genius? She has an incredible mind and an even more incredible talent for expressing thought. I was captivated.

Truth is, I 've been listening to her for a while and I have yet to find any reason to interrupt her madness, which I see as magical, mystical and magnificent. What could I possibly add? Soon, she will take a long relaxing breath in my arms and I can speak to her in words she may not recognize any longer - but she will remember if I say them to her enough. I will begin by telling her how remarkable she is, beyond the scope of most men's ambition or expectation - I am not afraid.

I will bring my face close to hers and whisper to her as I look her in the eyes - "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever known. Inside you are compassionate, caring and creative - outside, I see the years as they have come and gone, each decade possessing a beauty that defies mere words and now, here, you are the embodiment of absolute radiance."

I understand she cannot be owned, cannot belong to anyone, cannot be caged, cannot be silenced, cannot be ignored! CANNOT BE IGNORED.

Isn't this your greatest sin against this goddess of a woman? Why do you take such a woman for granted? Have you ever experienced anyone else like her? Do you believe you ever will again?

As she sits in a room filled with stagnant air, her hair a mess, never bothering to get dressed, waiting for you to give her one glance. Did she catch you looking? Did you say anything to her? Or, did you keep your words in your throat keeping the frogs company?

I will touch her gently, beginning with her hair and cupping her face in my hands and praising the gods for this moment. I will bring my lips to the nape of her neck and kiss her gently, wait for that shiver and when it comes, I will know to continue around her neck and and back up to that beautiful mouth made of pink-ribbon lips, soft as cashmere, and slightly open anticipating the inevitable - my kiss.

My kiss will begin with a brush against her lips and then I will take her lower lip into my mouth and nibble slightly. She will moan in pleasure and return that bite, a little harder, to remind me she must feel everything. I will kiss her deeply and for as long as she likes. I will be at her command - nothing is off limits with her. She will guide me to satisfy her every need and I will submit to her will until she is completed and then she will acquiesce to my needs.

Have you ever taken her slowly, paying attention to every sense as it is awakened? Have you ever taken your hands and pulled her closer, closer than any mortal can be with another? Have you ever breathed out your soul to her and watched as she breathed you in? What do you think happens when you take hours to adore this woman? Would you believe me if I told you that you would see heaven, feel gods touch, hear angels as they serenade you into your bliss?

There will come a moment when she will let me know and I will take her like a lion possessing his lioness. Rough enough that she gasps over and over again, hard enough that she must dig her nails into my back to hold on for the ride that will take her far beyond her wildest fantasy. At the moment of her final death she will be grasping the sheets and panting in pleasure and then, as I meet my own death, I will take both of her hands and raise them above her head where she lies, eyes wide open and watching as I lose myself completely inside of her. She, the vessel of my deepest desires has set me on fire once again, only to extinguish me with her adoring kisses. Yes, I did something right.

She tried to tell you, John. She cried, she begged, she pleaded, she bled for you and your attention was always elsewhere. I have no idea how you, and others like you, can exist in the presence of such a jewel and not put everything second to acknowledging her magnificense. I may just be in love and therein lies the difference. You won't know until she is gone and you can see her in your dreams in my protective arms, melting beneath my kisses and making love as if it defines her - never just sex.

Dear John, I'm so sorry you are losing her but I can't thank you enough for allowing me the opportunity to do right by her. She deserves everything and I will give all I have to her. You see, John, I once loved a woman like her. These women are rare and to have another chance is a blessing I did not think would ever come for me. I did exactly what you are doing, I lost her piece by piece, peace by peace, until that final release, that painful goodbye that I could not stop... it was too late.

Yes, she might be leaving you today, tomorrow, next month, next year... and when she does, I will be there to heal her and there will never be another stagnant room that holds her back from being the sensual and sensitive woman she was always meant to be. A woman like this needs a man who can anticipate her needs, believe in her, raise her up so she can reach and touch the sky - someday, she will leave us both... on that day, she will learn to fly and then and only then, I will say my final goodbye.

You may have already lost her. If there is even a sliver of a chance to make amends, make them now - time is something you do not have much of and she is slipping away and will be a memory if you do more of nothing. Please take your time - I am waiting patiently to catch her when she falls.

Yours truly,

Her Knight. Her good night.