music major / jaemin

fourteen

“we thought that your condition was getting better, hyung..”

i was thinking that too, jisung, jaemin thought bitterly, his eyes never leaving the dull white ceiling above him. he never thought that he'd be back here again, for a checkup. there was na jaemin, laid on the white hospital bed, in the hospital with white walls. everything was white. it was too blinding. it hadn't even been a full day since he was admitted to the hospital, and he was already excited to get out of that place.

“we can't let him continue promoting! do you know how serious his condition is right now? he can barely even do those stunts that you guys keep on pressuring him to do – ” their manager's perplexed voice was heard. he was on the phone with someone, whoever that is. he brought the call outside and jaemin let out a sigh, feeling as if his soul was getting sucked out of his body. seems like jeno would steal away his hoverboard master title now, huh?

silence filled the room. it was suffocating, and highly uncomfortable for jaemin to have sixteen pairs of eyes staring at him all at once. the fact that the room isn't even that big in the first place didn't help at all. has johnny always been that gigantic? probably. he never noticed.

“guys..” jaemin croaked out. only then he realized how silent he had been these whole time. sixteen heads all shot up at the same time, shooting questions at jaemin, trying their best to fulfill his needs.

“what do you need? do you need to go to the toilet?”

“do you want food? what is it?”

“are you thirsty?”

“need your daily dose of johnny's amazing parrot impression?”

“i think he wants you to get out, johnny.”

“i came here to support jaemin with all my heart but i'm feeling so attacked right now.”

“stop being a meme.”

“can't help it, it's in my blood.”

“shut up. jaemin needs something, can't you let him speak?”

a weak smile formed on jaemin's lips. “please..”

sixteen pairs of eyes blinked at him. it made him feel even more uncomfortable than before, but he decided to make it more suspenseful to make it fun. “please.......”

“please what?” doyoung spoke up, and jaemin was surprised that he hasn't gotten annoyed with him yet. from the corner of his eyes, he could see that yuta was holding back from snapping at him.

“turn on the tv for me. it's so boring here.”

they were all taken aback. no one moved for quite a while, until taeyong shoved johnny who was the closest to the tv remote. “you heard him, turn on the tv!”

“shoot! shoot! i'm sorry! i got it!” johnny fumbled with the remote, almost dropping it in the process. he then managed to turn on the tv, surprisingly, and shot a wink at jaemin. jaemin was disgusted. the channel displayed some documentary about some animal that jaemin could not care less about.

“i think the documentary is gonna bring more pain, hyung,” jisung said, patting johnny's shoulder to attract his attention. johnny was too entranced on the documentary though, nodding whenever the man narrated about the bird that could walk on the surface of the water. is it? jaemin doesn't know, and jaemin doesn't care.

“johnny is helpless. he can't be saved. ” taeyong muttered under his breath, shaking his head. jaemin agreed.

a few moments passed as jaemin counted how many times johnny nodded his head while watching the television, just to keep himself occupied. he almost lost count, but it surpassed eighty times. their manager walked back in at that time, his hand ruffling his own hair and a heavy sigh leaving his lips.

“it took me lots of convincing, but i managed to ask them to let you go on hiatus, jaemin,” he smiled, with a hint of sadness in his voice. a grateful smile formed on his lips as jaemin mumbled a word of thanks. it must've coasted him lots of trouble, and probably a huge cut in his salary..

“so that means he won't be promoting with us anymore?” the disappointment in mark's voice was too obvious. his groupmates looked away sadly, and jaemin did too. just thinking about it brings more pain than his waist did.

“yes, mark.” their manager confirmed. mark mumbled something in english that jaemin can't understand, but he saw johnny patting his back a few times afterwards.

somehow, it was hard to bring the smile back.

“we don't know how long your hiatus will last, but we have to prioritize your health.” their manager continued on. “in the meantime, you can go to school once your condition gets better. it might take a while before you can continue practising again, though.”

“it's okay,” jaemin tried his best to manage a cheerful tone, but it came out sounding like he was about to burst into tears. “i can always ask donghyuck and jeno, or hina.”

silence fell, once again.

the sadness was too overwhelming. he wondered how long it would take until he was able to stand on stage again, to dance and sing, to do something that made him feel like he was on top of the world.

--

(a/n)

UGH shoot i hurt myself so much while writing this chapter and paradise came on shuffle when i was finishing the last part Hahsjausj it's okay i didn't need my heart anyway

for real.. i miss jaemin though... i've always been an unloyal jaemin stan but [ donghyuck voice ] You'll Always Be In My Heart T ____ T

PARADISE MAKES ME SO EMO ??????????????????????????????????