I thought it whould be different this time
that you would be different.
Its like im stuck on this never ending rollercoaster of pain.
Like im replaying a bad memory
Remembering all the pain Ive went through before.
Everytime i look at him with another girl its like watching the worst part of a movie, were you just want to look away or throw up.
My emotional pain dosn't wanna stay in one place so the pain goes everywhere.
It hurts so much you dont know if you wanna cry a river or punch a hole in your freashly painted wall.
God how stupid was I, thinking I for once
Can feel happy.
But once again reality took me by the throat and suffocated me in a endless pool of self loathing pain. Its the worst kind of pain were you can feel your heart breaking inside of you but you cant fix it.
It follows me everywere taunting me waiting for me to break.
The words "im fine" or "just tired" is my awser to everyone because they dont get it, they dont get how I feel every time I see him how much I hate the way I look somtimes because maybe then I would have held on to him longer.
Maybe if i looked like them if I was skinny and pretty like victoria whould he hold me like that..
I took alot of stuff out of this piece that I thought didnt go right with how I wanted this to sound. I also wrote this a couple days ago.
The next few chapters would be about stuff I wrote a couple days ago aswell.
Lots of love
Chasity♡
