Right Into Place

Seventeen

I lied on the floor, staring at nothing but the ceiling, letting Mozart play from my cellphone. I didn't move, I'm just thinking, rethinking of my life choices.

Ever since I was a child there had been constant struggles. I was raised by my mum until she passed away where I got to live with granny and grandpa. He passed away too not long after so it was only granny.

During reunions, the reason why I despise them is because I am not known. That's alright but should other people know who I am, trouble starts.

"Why don't you just stay in your room?" Vienne would always ask and it almost never stopped. Now she has kids, Vincent and Jericho, one five and one four. Whereas I still have none.

I am not asking for a life like theirs, I'm just asking to be distanced, where I'm supposed to be.

I heard the door open up and I groaned, "Two doors to the left. Cafe."

That disturbed me from my thoughts.

"Thanks, man." Whoever it is left the shop immediately and closed the door. He definitely saw me lying on the floor but I couldn't care.

There are some days when I'm like this, when I'd rather just lie on the floor and think about my life. Some people my age are already married, some have families of their own, some making their way to the top. . . not me.

When I stood up, I walked towards my car. I closed up the shop too early for the day and drove to Liberty State Park in New Jersey which is less than an hour away.

There, I spent my time staring at the seas, letting the wind blow off my hair. I sat on the bench to watch the scenes a bit. Every once in a while, I'd take out my phone to take pictures. Sometimes, I'd take a look at the city view, it's beautiful as well so I'd take my camera out when I feel like doing so.

It wasn't so long when it was already the sky I was staring. I lied on the bench, only staring and watching as the seagulls and clouds hover above. The sea breeze is calming as well.

I plugged in my earphones and played songs I used to hear a lot when I was a child. The bench was a bit short for me so my legs are lifted on the armrests. I had my hands at the back of my head, listening to the chatters, the waves and most simply the ring of my watch as hours pass by.

When eventually, it was almost nightfall, I knew it was time to go home. I drove back to the shop, ate dinner by myself -as usual- and went off to bed.

"Harry, come on, you have to wake up."
"Harry, please wake up."
"Come on, please. Harry."

What now?!

My eyes snapped open, I sat up immediately, trying to remember where I was. And what happened before that.

I'm in my room, and I fucking heard Taylor calling me. My head pounded and my vision is still a bit blurry. I don't even recall where I put my glasses.

And then I realise I was dreaming.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath as I wiped the sweat off my forehead. Despite the fact that it's already too cold, halfway in November and I never really liked to turn the heat on, rolls of sweat kept appearing over my face.

I dreamt of her. I just don't know what. She wants me to wake up?!

It's a dream. It's a dream. It's a dream.

I repeated that thought over and over inside my head, trying to convince myself as much as I could.

I lied back down, running my fingers through my hair and pulling the locks every once in a while. Good God!