i'd pick more daisies. [namjoon x reader]

are there angels?

  are there angels here beside us as we journey life's winding road, sent from heaven here to guide us along future paths unknown?

It was now mid-fall. You were huddled in your apartment most days, your boss cancelled work a lot due to extreme weather conditions and the fact that everyone was waiting for Christmas albums to come in. However, one artist that didn't need to wait for a seasonal album was Namjoon. One of the producers he had been in contact with had finally taken him into the studio and that's where he was the majority of days. He'd come through the door, quickly closing it to the keep the heat in, drenched in rain as he wriggled out of his jacket. He would come over and sit his damp body on the couch to show you his lyrics. Sometimes you'd scribble some doodles on the edges of the paper or suggest changes in the lyrics. Most times you did that, though, you felt a bit red-faced because you weren't too sure of the "hip-hop flow". Not as much as Namjoon anyway.

Tonight wasn't much different. You were dinner a bit later so Namjoon could actually eat something that wasn't reheated leftovers. You slowly walked into the kitchen, entranced by the rain that slid down the transparent glass of the window. You passed the daisy rooted in the plant pot, where it had been for several months now. The petals were drooping a little, sometimes either you or Namjoon forgot to water it due to your busy schedules. You worked from home the majority of the time and fell asleep on the couch a lot. You leaned against the counter as the pot on the stove bubbled away, steaming off some rice that you'd found at the very back of the pantry. The vegetables were in the frying pan, the radio was playing at a low volume and you could've slipped into a deep sleep if it wasn't for the apartment door opening and closing suddenly. "Oh, hey!" You chirped and rubbed your eyes as you realised it was Namjoon. He was back earlier than usual, which was nice to see. He looked pretty worn down, but happy nonetheless. That made you happy, too.

You quickly removed the frying pan off the stove and turned it off. Namjoon greeted you softly, sitting down at the dinner table and dumping his bag on the floor. He stretched then tilted his head as you sat across from him. You pushed a plate of food across the table toward him, which he grinned and thanked you for. You uncorked some wine for the special occasion of a real dinner. "So, how was recording today? Anything exciting happen?" You asked as you scraped your chair forward. Namjoon shrugged, gulped down some wine. "It was pretty standard, honestly," he said with somewhat of a bored tone. "It's kinda the same thing over and over. Wears me down a little." His fingers curled up and you reached out to grip his hand supportingly. "Yeah, it must be tedious, huh?" You murmured. "But it's gonna be totally worth it. This is your dream, right? It's finally happening!"

Your excited chirping made Namjoon mirror your smile and drop his head to hide his drunken blush. "You're right! You're right. I know I shouldn't complain so much but I'm just not used to this amount of work. I know, though. It'll pay off in the end. When I'm rich, we can take a lot of nice vacations~"

The thought of that made you giddy with excitement. The ability to get away from Xander for a while. It'd be amazing. Maybe if Namjoon made enough money, you'd never need to work again. Or, at least, not in that place. An assistant at Namjoon's music place would be 100% better. Your dreamy look made Namjoon snicker and click his fingers. "Hey, you still with me, baby?" You gave an embarrassed chuckle and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear with a quick nod. "I'm so proud of you, Namjoon," you stated suddenly. Emotions were washing over you, and you blamed it on the wine in your system. You felt tears well up in your eyes as you continued. "The whole time I've known you, you had such a passion for music. Even when nobody else noticed you, you kept doing it, because of your drive. You know? And... and that's just so admirable. I've never met someone so dedicated in my whole l-life and I'm so happy that you're finally.." You trailed off, wiping the tears from your eyes and Namjoon leaned forward to help. He was red-faced and also clearly emotional. The dim purple light from the window was illuminating his face as he leaned in, using his thumb to brush away any wetness. The radio was tuned into a classical radio station and played a soft, low piano piece as you both sat in silence, unable to speak. But there was no need to speak. You could read the situation. It felt so bittersweet for some reason, as you sat in the aftermath of your tears of joy. He pulled you into his chest for a hug. The smell of his cologne and the piano wafting in the air comforted you like nothing else in the world. You let yourself sink into him as the piano piece was drawing to a close, the notes getting louder and louder, and you were going to pull away, look up and told him you loved him, when... Bzz. Bzz.

The vibration of Namjoon's phone in your pocket startled you. You pulled away, wiping your eyes again and watching him intently. His face fell with regret and apologies as soon as he read the text. "I'm so sorry," is the first thing he said and you instantly felt an emptiness in your chest. "I need to go back into the studio. They want to do another take for the album."

You swallowed your pride and nodded. You didn't want to be bitter, not at all. This was his job. This was his dream. So why did it feel so bad every time he went away to pursue it?

You sat on the counter and swung your legs as you watched him get ready. The purple light outside was dimming and Namjoon pulled on his jacket. He picked up his umbrella, waved goodbye and he was gone, just as soon as he had returned. You pulled down the black blinds, shutting out the violet glow completely and your body grew so tired. You turned off the stove, dumped all the dishes into the sink and placed Namjoon's half-eaten meal into the microwave. He'd get it later, you were certain. You sighed gently after cleaning and your hands stung slightly due to the chemicals. The kitchen lights got shut off, the hallway lights were out and you willingly fell right onto your bed as soon as you saw it. You curled up in your corner of the bed. 

It was so cold without anyone here. The larger half of the bed usually taken up by Namjoon's warm body was painstakingly empty. Nothing was there. Not even the trace of him. You ran your fingers across the bedsheets lightly and took comfort in the smell of his fading cologne. That's the only thing that got you to sleep that night.