Unithan: Abiogenesis

Abiogenesis (14 and older)

Billions of years ago, chemicals randomly organized themselves into a self-replicating molecule. The spark of life was the seed of every living thing we see today. The simplest life form, through the processes of natural selection, has been shaped into living species on the planet. When the meteor hit the earth and killed the dinosaurs, a unithan cell evolved into a human (I don't really understand evolution because I'm a child). Unithan, the most cancerous thing on the brinks of this universe, was eating poop in a bush around 1112. He heard a woman scream "Oh yes" "Ahhh" "ohhh harder" he thought she was in trouble so he picked the house up and saw what was going on. A naked woman was doing something to this black man, but I wasn't really sure what they were doing, so yeah I left them alone. He left the place and decided to live in Afghanistan, the greatest country in all of the world. He spawned a huge mansion. He created electricity in 1112 and phones and all that good stuff. So unithan one day decided to make LSD and Methamphetamine. It took him awhile to make it and than got high off of those drugs. Osama Bin Laden was offended because he tried to make drugs but kept failing and every time he failed, his Muslim mom butt raped him with a 20 inch black dildo. So one day Osama wanted to fight unithan, and than unithan made the first move. He punched osama right in the cooter hole and cried like a butt cheek on a stick and a poopie on my dookie. Unithan decided to watch that juicy porn and beat his dick until it's purple. He had his first orgasm and he said Oh my god! THIS FEELS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. Haha I like men and if your reading this you like men also. Jk your a transgender fat potato who watches porn and does Meth and Crack.
Good day mates and the next unithan will be out soon. GOODBYE SPOOPY POOPYS!