starboy

chapter 8

cUt OUT THE SMUT HHHRRK IF U GUYS WANT IT THO I'LL PUT IT BACK IN

eleven o'three am
  zen

Zen wakes up, pressed against Jumin's side. His arm is curled on Jumin's abdomen, fingers loosely splayed on his muscular chest.

His hair is loose, falling over his face and covering his neck with thick, silver strands of hair.

Zen smiles, humming in contention. He  trails his fingers across Jumin's chest, and focuses intently on tracing invisible shapes on the pale, smooth skin. He nuzzles his face on Jumin's shoulder, sighing happily once he feels Jumin's arm under his head.

Zen's about to sit up, but he yelps in pain when a stabbing sensation burns from his behind.

Clear memories of the night before came back to him in pieces, and Zen can't help but whimper in embarrassment. He can almost feel the whip slapping against him, and the memory of how the blindfold felt against his face lingered.

He sits up to think about how Jumin tied his wrists with ribbon, dragging the blanket along with him .

"Baby?"

Zen turns his head over his shoulder, silver hair gleaming with an orange tint thanks to the light spilling through the curtains. He smiles fondly at Jumin, his face still a a velvety shade of red.

"Good morning," Zen greets him.
Jumin smiles sleepily in return, sitting up. He buries his face in Zen's neck, wrapping his arms around his waist.
"You look beautiful with your hair down." 

"I look beautiful either way." Zen scoffs, and both men chuckle warmly.
Jumin kisses his shoulder lovingly.
"Why did you grow out your hair?" He asks, voice rough and thick with sleep.
Zen feels comfortable talking to him. He leans into Jumin's embrace.

"My aunt said that my uncle, who was her husband, had long hair." Zen says softly. "I grew it out as a child to make my aunt happy."

Jumin lifts his hair to kiss the nape of his neck.

"That's a sweet reason to grow it out." Jumin mumbles against his skin. "What was your aunts name?"

"Marina." Zen replies warmly. "She was the greatest woman on earth."

Jumin takes a moment to respond, for he's running his hands up Zen's bare abdomen, kissing his arm.

"I guess Elizabeth the Third will have to resign her post as the greatest woman on earth then." Jumin remarks softly, and Zen smiles widely. He turns in Jumin's arms, locking their lips in a mellow kiss.

"Tell me more." Jumin says once they pull away. Zen rests his head against Jumin's briefly. "About what?"

"Your past."

"Before breakfast?"

"Yes."

"Aren't you hungry?"

Jumin's hand finds its way to Zen's bum, and he squeezes it firmly, smiling.

"I had a big dinner last night." Jumin tells him. Zen blushes, and laughs quietly.

"You're so stupid." He tells him warmly. Zen turns again, so that his back is leaning against Jumin's body.

"Alright. Well, I had a mom. I had a brother. My father was a model, and died in a shooting accident before I was born. Anyways, we were a really happy family. When I was seven maybe, I would walk home from school,"

Zen's voice drips with uncertainty. His eyes are distant as he recalls his past-- something he hasn't done in a while. Or, at least, a past that didn't include his aunt.

"I was a beautiful child, because of my father's side of the family, and their looks. I would be dumb enough to walk by risky places, and people would put their hands on me." Zen doesn't hesitate to speak. Although it's hard to remember, he's still raw about the happenings. It's not hard to talk about things you hate, and Zen had a hatred for the people who dragged him aside and harassed him.

Zen continues quietly, "They'd pull me aside. Forcefully touch me," He chuckles hollowly. He feels his heart ache from the ever remaining bruise left from his past.

Jumin holds him closer.

"I was only a baby, Jumin. So, so young. And it kept happening, for so, so long. My mother didn't do anything about it. She'd tell me I was ugly, and it was my fault for people touching me."
"Your mother is a bitch." Jumin interrupts, kissing Zen's cheek firmly. He chuckles. "I know. Should I continue?"

Jumin nods. "I want to know everything about you."

Zen smiles warmly at him. He continues his story, "But my brother believed me. He comforted me. He told me where to stay away from, and where the safest places to go were. He said my mother only said those things because I was so handsome, that she worried. I loved my brother." Zen says wistfully.

"Well anyways, when I was in my late eight years of age, my aunt came to visit. She was so excited to see me. She told me she hadn't seen me since I was in my mother's belly. She told me all about my father, and my uncle. Which, my mom did not want. She hugged me. She sang me and my brother songs in Spanish. She gave me kisses and bought cookies for me. She was even better than my mother. I loved her the moment I met her."

"My brother showed me how to get to my aunts house after school. We went there almost everyday, until my brother got busier with school. My aunt would show me my uncle's musical performances on her little television. She was the best...."

Zen trails off. He's quiet, for a moment. "What happened to her?" Jumin asks slowly.

"She died on Christmas Eve. I don't know..." Zen takes in a deep breath. He closes his eyes. "She was driving in the snow. She was going to visit my uncle's grave, and... the road was slippery. She slid off the ice, and the car crashed into the side of the r-road." Zen's voice breaks, and he bows his head. He covers his mouth, tears forming in his eyes and stinging them furiously.

"I was only eleven." He breathes, a sob escaping his lips. He screws his eyes shut as tears fell from his eyes, and he chokes out quiet cries.

Jumin pulls Zen closer, resting his head on his shoulder. He pulls Zen into his lap, kissing his cheek a couple times. Jumin held holds close, petting his hair and rocking him slowly.

"Shh, shh, shh," Jumin soothes. "It's okay, my love. Don't cry, darling, you're okay. She's still with you," He tells him, kissing his cheek.

"As long as you remember her."

A/N
whaaaaat?! Shortest chapter of the story :0 next up, we have some stories with the pasts of zen & j-han ;)
I'm not too sure about j-Han actually, but for sure zen