this is not a story

my story .

it all started in the 6th grade . i was at lunch with my friends that i have know forever it felt like . i've gone to that school since kindergarten so the people i grew up with . there was this kind of new kid . he got there in the 4th grade so i knew him for 2 years . our cafeteria was also the gym so it was small . you could hear basically everything everyone said . i also wasn't sitting too far from him . but i over heard my name . "jenni is a hoe ." me being a little kid , i didn't know what that meant . so i went to my teacher . she told me email the counselor. so i did . well later to come find out what a hoe meant . i was broken . i thought everyone loved me . i was so nice . of course i was a basic little kid so i had a couple of "boyfriends" but nothing serious . i lost all self confidence. well it all past by . so i start middle school !! there was more kids because schools combined . anyway i had a boyfriend from the other school . he was nice . is was about a month and i found out he was cheating . so trying to be all bad and bigger , i texted her . i told her he was cheating on her with me . and i called her a bitch . well i didn't know about fighting or bullying because everyone loved me . that wasn't the case , next day at school i was waiting to go to class and she asked if  i wanted to fight . i said no i'm sorry i called you that . i didn't mean it . for the next couple of days her friends called me a hoe a whore . they would pull on my jacket asking if i knew i was a hoe . i wasn't a popular kid so i mainly dealt with this by crying at night . rumors were spread . nobody really liked me . i had haley . she was great . i loved haley so much . but soon later someone said i was talking bad about her behind her back . i wasn't . haley was my best friend . i cried . just thinking that people even turned my best friend against me . well 8th grade came a long . i became friends with more people . although 8th grade was were i become friends with more people it sucked most . i had a semi serious relationship. but he became more and more abusive . he felt he had control of me . i cried so much . he put me down so much . he even called me a hoe . called me fake . i became so depressed i tried to overdose . i just got sick . i hated my life . i started cutting . but i couldn't leave . he would threaten to leak stuff . and he would threaten to kill him self . i didn't wanna be a cause for suicide . all that abuse lasted a long time . he left me so many times. moving on to high school . freshman year... i was still with the guy . his bus was full so they took him and his friends and moved them to my bus . so i would sit by him . he would put me in a headlock and lay me on his legs as he had his arms around my neck . i hate being in small spaces for long . he refused to let me up until i started crying . he said i couldn't take a joke . which i could but i hated staying like that . slowly i started to care less and less about me and him and that "relationship" i didn't care about it because i didn't want a third parent . all my friends from middle school went to different schools so i had i make new friends . which was fine . the girls from middle school stopped bullying me so that was good . something huge happened freshman year . finally my abusive relationship ended . why ? because i finally said fuck it . i told him i didn't care anymore . he left . now why i did that was a huge impact on my life . Caleb Smith . he came into my life and helped me through his abuse . i knew something about him made me want him . i never believed in love a t first sight until him . i loved him before i knew him . he told me "i can treat you better." i believed him . he's so sweet . and 4/22 i finally met him in person . and i became single . he had came back from Maryville . i was so ... happy . something i hadn't felt in a long time . we became official on 5/01/17 . moving on to the present. well sophomore year . so far it's been okay . i've started self recovery for depression . but recently i asked who wanted a tbh . and my old friend who isn't me friend anymore asked for one . i said well you hate my best friend and we're not friends anymore cuz we don't talk and you lied to me saying you'd call me . well we argued and she ended up saying i was ugly nobody cares about me and that i should go kill myself . i've been down recently because of that . nobody deserves this . i know people have had it worse than me . but i wanted to tell how people's words and actions have affected me and how people should avoid it .