Damage

Prologue

                      The hard pounding on the door grew stronger, causing the door to shake on its frame, but it all sounded muffled; like I was submerged under water except for my heart beat pounding in my ears meeting the melody of the doors beating. "Open up, Nya." demanded a husky voice, deep but without harsh emphasis, like he didn't enjoy this anymore than I did, but even if I really wanted to get up, my faulty knees wouldn't allow it. I hovered over the ground on all fours, dry heaving and crying with the force of someone throwing up, while my mother sat silently, grasping a cigarette that was nearly burnt down to the filter untouched.. There was no escape ,!we both knew that and our fears were answered as we heard the landlords keys rattle and eventually after what seemed like forever the door swung open, revealing the mess that was my life.

Invading my memories, personal space and where I escaped reality, they began to peel me off the floor like gum under a table. My legs were to weak for me to stand on my own and I figured he was aware of that by the way he gripped my arm or maybe he was preventing me from fleeing, but my mind was already miles away from here. Melanie glances me over pitifully, her Dcs badge swaying back and forth due to how fast she busted in through the door. "I need you pack a bag for me, all the things you need, okay?." She asked, but what she really meant is are you gonna put up a fight.the officer released my arm letting me stagger through all the filth. I scanned the room, as feces and animals were scatter everywhere and moldy dishes were packed high in the sink water that was never used. Past that, sat laundry piled high, but for some reason I couldn't even remember the last time the washer was used. My room was the only clean room in the house, and as I pushed my cigarette smell stained clothes into a garbage bag I noticed how small my room felt all of the sudden. The walls seemed like they were caving in, but maybe that was my heart breaking into a million tiny pieces for more reasons than I couldn't comprehend.

Finally grabbing what I could, I looked around what I used to call my person cave one more time. Each dent and scuff had its own memory, ones that couldn't be easily scrubbed off. Eyes peered holes into my back, so with little confidence I turned around, bag in hand. My mother stood in her bedroom doorway, her face now sullied with tears that made my stomach tighten with uneasiness. Her arms pulled me in for a hug that only lasted for a few seconds. "I love you, momma needs to work on herself, but I promise you'll be coming home." She whispered pressing her lips to the side of my face, clinging to me.

My mind raced profusely but I could manage to utter a single word, but I supposed my silence was as good as anything I could manage to say. After a moment the officer pulled softly on my arm, hauling me off like a cow going to a butcher house. My mother called out to me, but her screams fell on deaf ears as I was seated in Melanie's car. Melanie was silent, she knew there was nothing she could say or do, and I could feel the guilt radiate off of her. As we pulled out I mentally took a picture, editing out my mother weeping in the from yard of my childhood home. I knew that was the last time I would set foot there and that from this day on, nothing would ever be the same.