Late Night with an Aflopean

Outside Ventures

I can't see an end to all the work. I count the money at the end of the night and we always break even. The only way to increase business is to purchase ad space, but, oh what an inconvenience.

I see that opening our doors to shoppers outside our little area is one benefit of ads, but what about the brain defying banality of the content of them? The curse of an Idiocracy is uttered first in a shopping mall. Then, it's spread like mayo over the entire residential zone.

I'm sure my investment in ads would return new business and profits, but do I really want to take the risk? Do I want to send my hard earned money towards an advert when I can just as easily work harder on my product?

Clearly, a lot of smoke is in the air about advertising. It's touted as an essential tool for businesses while underground marketing is forgotten.

So, I'm always working. Working around ways of paying for ads. My ass has been up and down the city, shaking hands and delivering the message of my brand. I even have a ten page outline of my Brand's identity printed off. I. Don't. Need. Advertising.

And think of how lame I would be for buying ads. Like some middle aged retiree, tricked into a sorry deal. Relying on someone else's charisma to carry my product and paying them to rent their nice office buildings. I've got a PC, and I can do marketing myself.

First, you entice the potential customer into clicking on your pay to click ad. Then, you add their information to your database so you can advertise to them later. Finally, you win them over with content and make the sale. All said, it's easy enough except for that pesky advertising part.

How do you advertise in a vacuum? Where we all start off in our business is a veritable vacuum with null energy. You can't get started that way. You have to swing your hips back and forth to get some momentum.

The answer is to always keep a bit of snuff on you at all times. When you need the booster, take a hit and boom your way back to the advertisphere. Constant momentum is preferred but everyone must rest so spend your energy wisely.

Don't take large steps at once. You'll surely lose your footing as you can't see where you're going in life. You really never can, can you? Retreat often and save your own life from harms.

When you're in the dark and the light is causing ghosting in your vision, you might as well consider it hallucinating. The problem with your perception is that it adds something when nothing is there. It's something to do with our heuristic processing, I think.

I also think aliens have extremely sensitive vision which requires them to wear eye protection on Earth. They may be able to see infrared, but the sun is variably closer to them in effect. The way they see regular earth light is through a dark filter that gives them very high dynamic range into the ultraviolet spectrum.

And I can't see an end to all the work. Recording my thoughts like this is a bore. With no plot, no characters, then I'm not even driven to continue. A surprising and heartening result.

For I wanted to develop a real story and not simply tell you what's on my mind. I wanted to polish something until it was the best it could be. I'm glad I'm naturally inclined towards storytelling and not story reporting.

But the pizza beckons. This entire post is story-reporting and I think that's what I deeply want to write. I want brisk, intelligent action.

I don't know what to do about my advertising failures. I don't want to hire anyone. Maybe with a bit of luck I can score a hit ebook and not have to worry about it.

Oh, have you read it...?